Casting-On

Christmas Freight Train!

2008-12-18T14:02:00.001-04:00

I swear christmas is rushing toward me like a freight train!
So much to do, so little time, and funny enough - no motivation!
Maybe because i feel drained this week. Last week is catching up to me mentally and its that tiempo del mes so i'm just burnt!
Still need to shop and do some house cleaning this weekend.
I finally made an appt to get lasered again on Saturday.
Hopefully i'll be shopping tomorrow and i can get it ALL done in one day. Not much to pick up since most of my gifts are handmade this year.
Somehow i walk into a mall and even with list in hand i go blank.
So this year, I made my list AND put ideas next to it.
I also have a strict budget and i'm NOT going to go over.
I still need to get all my christmas cookies baked and i have to make pastelles!
Bring it.

Don't like the airport scene.

2008-11-16T14:48:00.001-04:00

It is rainy and grey outside
Rainy and grey inside.
I need to let go.
I had a client and his cohort speak to me in an unacceptable way earlier.
I was livid and wanted to tell them both where to go.
I kept my cool and answered calmly.
I want to tell him that his bullying was completely unnecessary especially since he is in a position where he owes me money.
I am tempted to pack it in and not deliver on his project. But we are too far along and i deserve the payment for work done.
I am going to upload the project and wait for payment.
If none is received i'm going to raise HELL.
I long for the day when this blog can be about crafts and yummy projects. House decorations and scrapbooking.
No client BS to be spouted about . I am over this part of my career.
I can go back in my archives and find a zillion posts where i've said this , only to say yes to another project because i needed the work and the money.
There are other ways, earning a living does not have to feel wrong everyday or hurt this bad.
I know i can do it, earn 'enough' without having to sacrifice me.
I just need to let go of this, close this door so i can go open some more.

Christmas is coming!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-15T15:30:00.002-04:00

I am getting excited!!
I LOVE christmas!
Yes, my birthday is superclose to the holidays so that's a PART of it.
But i get so happy and so excited by it all.
Some of my best childhood memories are centered around christmas.
I love everything about a trini christmas.
First off, just hearing Parang makes me giddy happy.
Drinking Sorrel flavoured shandy...eep! I can get this all year round but never drink it other than at christmas time.
Forget about regular sorrel...lawwd! D yumminess!
I hate cleaning the sorrel because i once found a dead scorpion in one...yea...
Pastelles!! Last year was my first time making these and they turned out GREAT! Hope i can remember how to do them this year!
Last year two of my friends and i got together to make christmas cookies. Fun new tradition.
Very messy but yummy and fun. I have ideas in my head this time to make it go smoother...perhaps less alcohol consumption while baking!
The christmas shopping is also fun..but its not the present buying. I wish we could nix presents save for lovely handmade items ...but the mall atmosphere!
The decorations and music. Love that part of it. LOVE.
I am excited!
I can't wait!
What are some of your fave fun traditions?

For got that the turtle tagged me.

So here goes 7 random facts about me . I'm not tagging anyone but please play along if u want to and lemme know in the comments so i can go read!:D

1. when i get stressed i count. I count anything and nothing. Reciting numbers calms me which is weird cuz i'm so not a numbers person.

2. I love to mix cereal. I hate having one kind only.

3. Taking pics and doing makeup makes me happy. Making jewelry recently joined this happy list :D

4. I'm not sure what i want to be when i grow up. Or if i WANT to grow up.

5. My jeans are two or three sizes too big. But boy are they comfy.

6. I love long deep conversations, but sometimes i need to just take things at face value in order to stay sane

7. Nailpolish on my toes makes me really happy. I've never not been without polish on my toes for as far back as i could remember because we weren't allowed to wear fingernail polish in school. My rebellion was to wear it on my toes, hidden by my socks. I tried going without for a month and a half recently. Painting them hot pink a few days ago restored my happiness.

Dog days of..........autumn?

2008-11-12T14:27:00.001-04:00

Projects completed: 2
Payments received: 0

i am putting good vibes out there.
I am being paid before the week is over.

Everything,Something and Nothing.

2008-11-09T13:25:00.001-04:00

That was the message that came to me and stayed with me as i walked the labyrinth yesterday evening.
Everything,
Something and
Nothing.
I walked with the intention of getting some sort of clarity or enlightenment on my 'mystery pain'
My friend E and i sat discussing the message for a bit thinking of possible meanings.
Everything meaning that i'd done everything already?
Something meaning that it IS something?
Nothing meaning that maybe its not physical?
I also felt that the message extended more to other things and not just my physical pain.
Something to think about.
After our lab walk we went in search of gelato and bubbles.
E had a giant gelato that looked SO amazing.
I'm trying to be wheat free (i'm already dairy free) so i had a sad looking soy gelato in a pathetic little styrofoam cup.
While slowly eating it i thought to myself man..i'm eating my wheat free dairy free VERY sugar filled treat but i'm going to be adding a piece of styrofoam to a landfill. pshhht. yuh cahhhh win!
We then went to the toy store to buy bottles of bubbles and spent some time getting lost amongst the wonderful, whimsical and fairly decently priced toys. E bought herself a LOVELY pink floral lei as she is suddenly attracted to any and everything pink.
I couldn't help but feel tickled that i've pulled someone else over to the pink side! Score!

oops!!!

2008-11-07T08:26:00.000-04:00

My friend thinks she accidentally flagged my blog for objectionable content
I guess i was overdoing it with the flower pics huh. Too many lillies!
Lol
ok so if u see a warning don't freak there are definitely no boobies or other nekkid parts, but we all know there may be a cuss word or two!
Thanks!!

Obamamama!

2008-11-06T12:09:00.001-04:00

He WON!
I am soooooo thrilled with the outcome of the election!
He has a heck of a lot of cleaning up to do and its going to take a lot of time so here's to PRESIDENT OBAMA!:)

I'm feeling hopeful about my health situation.
Lots more changes and more new habits to develop
But i'm hopeful about it.

Work is going alright. Being paid would be nice. I've got a client who has suddenly become ill and not taking phone calls. It is amazing how well he was during the project.
I'm not handing over till he pays up so he can bend over and kiss my perky brown ass.

Onto my day.

Happy Voting Day.

2008-11-04T13:23:00.001-04:00

I woke up feeling light and airy this morning.
A very positive calm feeling.
I've been cleaning - out with the old.
Rearranging furniture and dumping old stuff and organizing other stuff.
My books and magazines just make me happy to look at :)
I feel better and safer and comforted when they're around.
Now neatly in a magazine rack instead of splayed on the coffee table.
My bathroom is in need of a good scrubbing and i'm headed there as soon as i get off the computer.
I'm on my lunch break.
I had a yummy veggie lunch and i'm pretty much ready to head back to it.
In store for the rest of the day: Cleaning then a delicious shower and couch time with my new book.

Monday.

2008-11-03T09:06:00.001-04:00

One day away from US elections.
I have anxiety today.
There. It is typed in black and white.
This is me sitting with it, not ignoring it.
Ok so fine i WAS ignoring it before i type it but whatevs.
Onto monday.
Must call difficult client.
Must threaten another client
Must threaten yet another client.
I'm sorry but, I work, you pay.
What is SO difficult about that?
Quiet weekend. Shopping with the girls, indulged in a couple bites of dessert. It was........so not as good as i remembered it.
My bloodwork is back, happy about that but a little apprehensive as well.
Onto work on yet another project that makes my mouth dry.
BUT! Lets find the positive in it - paycheck (eventually) and being occupied.
Here we go MONDAY!

As the days go by.

2008-10-29T17:59:00.001-04:00

I've been feeling very quiet and contemplative lately.
Not much in the mood for picking up the phone cept to talk to my magical friend E...ha...E...magical....i assure you she is neither white nor spherical and doesn't make me hallucinate but she is magical.
And of course to talk to the turtle.
Not even my best friend has received a lengthy phonecall.
I also don't feel like going anywhere and doing anything fun.
The couch and a book are my constant happy companions.
I don't at all think that this is forever but i just feel like being quiet right now.
I'm still not feeling well and the docs are still confused as to what makes me feel unwell...ah...letting it go.
The return to yoga did not happen as promised.
Not going to promise it tomorrow though it would be nice! I feel the need to return.
I didn't feel like eating today, so i drank instead.
I just felt like having one of my home made veggie burgers so i did, along with an apple.
It felt just right. Not too heavy, not too light. Just right.
I plan to follow that up with a cup o tea and my book.
Quiet
Contemplative
Peaceful?

While i was gone...

2008-10-27T15:41:00.001-04:00

So yoga day 6 was last wednesday.
Nothin doin after that.
I had been feeding two kittens that were either born or placed in the giant window box on the floor below me.
One suddenly disappeared over the weekend but a gorgeous little orange one remained.
He was the skittish, shy, scared one of the bunch.
He looked at me sooooo terrified when i fed him the first day i decided to sit and stare at him with kind eyes and a smile to try to convey good energy to him, to let him know it was ok.
Slowly he approached the food and ate it.
I was so happy. I fell in love with the orange kitty, not so much the other one even tho he/she was cute too.
When only the orange one remained i worried about him all by himself but couldn't reach to scoop him up!
Last week he came right up to my hand and i leaned over onto the ledge and held my breath and just scooped him up.
Phew.
I brought him (um now would be a good time to reveal that he was a she) I brought her upstairs and she was so scared!
I gave her some milk and sat with her and she calmed down after a while.
I fell in love HARD.
I abandoned work and everything else to spend time with little pumpkin orange and advertised her on facebook as i can't keep pets here.
When her new mom came to pick her up, i wasn't impressed with the whole family and i cried all night thinking i'd made a horrible horrible mistake.
I cried myself to sleep and then when i woke up that morning i cried some more.
I was upset till the girl called me and told me how well pumpkin was doing and how loved she was - and that she'd eaten and she prepared the food just as i did for pumpkin. I was worried they wouldn't have the time to do it and pumpkin deserved the best!
Well pumpkin is happy now and life here is back to normal.
I resumed working out but will resume Yoga Day 7 tomorrow.
It will take me a couple more days to get through the month but so be it.
Thats sort of my motto lately. I'm not getting angry at myself for things.
I'm trying to be gentle and kind to me, i'm gentle and kind to other people so why not me too.
Sat nam.

Yoga day 6

2008-10-20T14:06:00.002-04:00

It is 2:01 pm and i have not done my session yet.
I feel like doing an aerobic workout then vegging out with the yoga.
Sweat out the angst then bring in the zen.
Whats going on? I like my morning practices better!
I woke up at 7 this morning and at 8:30 yesterday morning.
Thats practically midday for me anymore.
I'm going to lace up the new balances, shimmy into the workout gear and grab my weights outta the closet.
I'm going to kick and punch and feel the burn.
Then i'm going to center myself and practice.
I'm doing the Chakra Kriya today and perhaps the chakra meditation.
I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch.
Stupid. Just stupid.
It tasted GREAT but i didn't really want it. I was just hungry and looking for something instant.
I'm going to cook lentils and patchoi (bok choi) for dinner.
Peppermint tea (no sugar no cream).....thats the kinda girl i need down wit ma team......lol for dessert.

eta: all done :D i worked out i did a little over 2 miles but i could have done more. A friend decided to pop by and join me and she wanted to stop after 2 miles. I did yoga after she left and it was great. great!

Yoga days 4 and 5

2008-10-18T13:51:00.001-04:00

On day 4 i again waited till evening to practice.
It was short and sweet.
I opened and instead of doing the chakra i did 4 or 5 different poses that help menstrual cramps and bring more bloodflow and energy into the girl parts.
I tried to get fancy on one pose and almost ended up with terribly broken parts but thankfully i knew when to quit.
I was scared all day and all night for today.
Bloodwork day.
Oy.
I had blood drawn once when i was a kid and to say it was traumatic is terribly understating the event.
I ran from bloodwork for the past twenty years or so and had to face it TODAY.
I woke up feeling really really calm.
I said to myself that by lunchtime i would have CONQUERED one of my BIGGEST FEARS.
I felt good about that. The ride to the lab started with hearing celine dion's 'A New Day' which made me tear up. I'm not a huge celine fan but the lyrics hit home.
I prayed and i just felt this huge presence with me.
I chanted my mantras silently and just called upon everyone/thing to help me be strong.
I know it sounds melodramatic but i was scared. Really scared.
When i got to the place i sat frozen in place waiting for my name to be called and wondering how i'd react.
I prayed and chanted and everything while i sat and then decided to focus on throwing out white healing light to everyone around me, not just focusing on myself.
The girl walked in and asked if someone was referred by dr so and so and i nodded and she beckoned me forward.........holy mother.
I freaked inwardly and i shook a bit.
The nurse wasn't terribly friendly and i got scared. She pulled out all her apparatus then and there and i'm like YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT NOW??!?! what was i expecting? A spa experience then a jab?
I grabbed hold of my mom's hand (i know...i know...) and breathed.
Pinch.
Done.
Eh?
Seriously?
Thats it?
Wow.
Then i did a two hour glucose tolerance test then had another stick.
Easy.
I was really shocked and grateful. I noted the difference. This lady used a vial that she stuck to the needle in my hand vs using the syringe and pulling the plunger.
HUGE DIFFERENCE in pain levels.
HUGE.
I'm happy.
Today, Oct 18th 2008, I HAVE CONQUERED MY FEAR.

Yoga day 3

2008-10-16T16:13:00.001-04:00

I feel like that rose today.
Just plum tired from the wind and fallen over gratefully onto the floor, but still blooming.
This morning i was laying on the couch thinking about beginning my yoga but more intrigued by the book on natural hormones that i was reading, when the phone rang.
E called and suggested we do our yoga together as she was going to be passing by my place on her way home.
Sounds perfect. Yoga and a fresh fruit breakfast.
Only, as i lay on the couch reading, waiting for her to arrive i felt those telltale cramps begin.......and increase and ...oh boy. Mother nature and her monthly gift. Great.
By the time we started our practice the pain was beginning to kick my ass but i ignored it.
I hoped the yoga would help alleviate it and i would be able to go drug free.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Halfway through it i just sat and Lamaze breathed while E finished up.
I didn't feel like eating but i decided to chop up some fruit for her.
I barely made it thru slicing some papaya before i felt like passing out.
She had to leave after 'breakfast' and i couldn't protest. I was seeing my ancestors. I haven't had pain this bad in a long long time.
I think i had so much hostility and confusion toward my ovaries and all my girl parts in the past month that the pain was all of that culminating.
Ooohfah.
After a shower i put a warm wet washcloth on my stomach and lay down.
Then got up.
Then back down and up and oh my word no position was even beginning to ease the pain so i just rode it out breathing and moving /writhing around.
The tabs i caved and took after yoga finally kicked in about 2 hours later and justtttt took the edge off.
I'm still in pain but not as much. Definitely bearable at the moment.
I might do a meditation and some poses for menstrual cramps tomorrow. I will resume the chakra kriya once my period is over.
Holy lightning and thunder i'm getting offline NOW!

Morning Yoga 2.

2008-10-15T10:57:00.001-04:00

Day 2 found me blissfully nestled under my blankies till 6am.
I'm a trini and it was raining.
Nuff said.
I slowly pried my warm body out from under the blankets and eaaaaaaaased into my day.
I started off with a ra ma da sa meditation then putzed around for 2 hours before settling into my morning practice.
I didn't just 'get through it' today.
I went mindfully (mostly) and i felt moved and grounded when i was done.
No heat - i didn't do the poses for as long as yesterday and the weather was cool outside.
I decided to end with chakra meditation music vs ra ma da sa since i had started my day with it. So i lay on my mat and turned my ipod on, prepared to find the song. No need, it started up on that song.
I smiled and settled in, breathing deep and listening to the bells and other sounds.
I stretched a little and my legs only shook slightly.
I found myself gagging yesterday when i did Dog pose so i didn't stick my tongue out as much today - that didn't help i gagged a lot.
Eventually i just focused on moving my diaphragm and the distraction was enough to get me through it.
I feel good and i feel rested/energised.
I am going to work on a scrapbooking project today, editing photos for it. I was going to do the guttergirlz oct 15th challenge even though we swapped with dreamgirls and all i had to do was the dreamgirls prompt (pictured above). The gg theme is ' I can't' and right now i can't identify with the words i can't I can do anything i put my mind to....ha...just found an angle for my layout:)

Sat Nam.

Morning Yoga.

2008-10-14T07:02:00.003-04:00

I toyed with the idea of blogging/not blogging my month long mornings of yoga.
But i decided that my memory is fuzzy at best so i'd like to have a written account to remember my first morning practice.
My friend E and i are doing 30 days of morning yoga, partly for discipline but mostly to raise our awareness to do things more in the way that we want to vs the way we think we should or for reasons we think we should.
Return to self might sound trite or cliched but it is fundamentally a return to ourselves, in the present, where we are, in other words - now is wow too.
I woke up at 5:11 (i scoffed at her before for waking this early! I also scoffed when she started an oh god thirty yoga practice last year SORRY E!)
I brushed my teeth and started at 5:30. Finished at 6:11
I found myself with an EXTREMELY heightened sense of smell from halfway through the practice till after.
Every smell came my way, strongly and sharply..ew.
I have a good sense of smell but never in the morning as i'm usually stuffy or allergied out the wazoo but this morning no siree, i breathed and i smelled.
Also my legs seemed shaky when i tried to stretch them. I also felt shaky after the practice and still do even after having breakfast. hm.
Immediately after my practice i jumped in the shower.
I was sweating, I don't know if it just got hot quick today or i just became incredibly temperature sensitive but i was steaming! The exercises were not those that would elicit a lot of sweat usually so i'm not sure what it was.
I found my focus straying a couple times (normal for me)
I just tried to refocus and keep going without being mad at myself.
I lay on the mat for my meditation instead of sitting and i ended up doing some stretching while i meditated. I wouldn't really call it meditating as i just listened to the mantra and didn't even try to focus inward. I only remembered to chant along for the last few lines (oops) and i didn't feel as grounded as i usually do after yoga.
I felt good that i got through it but i felt almost as if that was what i did. I 'got through it'.
Hopefully tomorrow will be more mindful - i'm just noting my thoughts/feelings i'm not judging myself for being a bit out of it. It is day one and a yogi i'm not.
My computer is going to the computer doctor so i thought it best to get this post written and published lest i forget anything during the course of the day.

Dear michaels.

2008-10-12T19:04:00.001-04:00

Honey, love, sweet baby,
you changed your logo without telling me.
This doesn't mean we're breaking up no no no.
I just don't think you understood how much that hot red serif font Michael's sign got my blood going everytime i saw it.
I used to get hot everytime i dressed thinking of you, glowing under the moon.
I would tap my feet impatiently in the car. I couldn't wait to get to you, dear michaels.
Seeing that glowing red sign in that oh so distinctive font just absolutely made me ache for you.
Now you've changed.
I'm not leaving you, no. But please don't change your sign.
Cuz then? I wouldn't break up with you - but i might start seeing AC Moore on the side.
And you wouldn't want that would u? What with their easily accessible printable coupons and all....i'd hate to leave you for that....

To whom it may concern.

2008-10-10T12:53:00.002-04:00

Please, may i just have one apple without wax or a sticker on it?
Thank you.

Thursday musings

2008-10-09T13:24:00.001-04:00

I'm trying to distract myself today.
I have a drs appointment tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous.
This is the guy who can tell me a lot.
Positive vibes very welcome :)
I'm going to see an endocrinologist tomorrow and i hope he can set me straight as to what is what.
This is something that should probably have been done when i was a child but i was/am scared of needles/ doctors (my pediatrician was an asshole) so my mom never made me go.
I am trying to take responsibility for my health now.
It is NEVER too late for anything, so i am trying to be a brave girl and just do it.
I've been to about 5 doctors the past three weeks and i have three more appointments (that i know of) coming up in the next month and a half. One being tomorrow, then i go back to my gyn then to an osteopath to have myself realigned!
I am also going to make an appointment with a naturopath as i believe in going the natural way as much as possible.
The medicine given to me by my gyn sits unopened on my dresser.
I may start them this weekend.
I'm still trying to figure out the whole vegetarian thing still.
am i getting enough of this? or that? What should i be getting ? What do i need more of? How much soy protein is too much soy protein. Should i go back to eating meat?(nooooo) What is really healthier for me?
So many questions but who to answer it?
Research research and more research.
I know i'm probably not eating enough, i haven't had too much of an appetite lately.
A friend told me that my skin looks clear and nice and i have been so focused on feeling like shit that i barely noticed that.
I am trying to look at some of the positive things going on since she made that comment.
But my eyes never lie and they lack sparkle.
I'm hoping the yoga i did on tues night will become a regular practice. I also want to start bellydancing classes.
I haven't resumed my workouts yet because my silly dvd has gone missing. Silly excuse but i won't work out as hard without a guide.
Forget the eliptical. I hate it and my knees make weird noises just walking.......far less for that contraption.
I am going to meditate tonight on positive results for the doctor tomorrow. Not sure he will run the tests tomorrow but i'm hoping so i dont have to obsess about it.
I always thought what i didn't know couldn't hurt me but i realize now how utterly irresponsible and ignorant that was so i'm working to change it.
You know the most important lesson i'm learning lately?
Is to stop being so hard on myself. It is OKAY (truly fucking ok) to be flawed and human. Nobody expects me to be anything more.
I feel like i floated five feet back down to earth and i can finally feel my feet touching it instead of hovering in a cloud of anger,frustration,questioning and constantly berating myself. I don't have to be the best at everything. I just have to do what i want how i want and be okay with it.
Sat nam.

The accidental vegan/vegetarian

2008-10-07T09:00:00.002-04:00

So I became the accidental vegan after reading the book Skinny Bitch.
I had no idea what it was about. I saw the cover and was intrigued, then ellen had the authors on her show.
Basically they all changed from eating crap to eating healthy.
Even though the food on the show was all vegan, it didn’t click that that was what the book was about.
I saw the book again a couple days after the show and I bought it. Total impulse buy.
I came home that evening and started reading it and didn’t stop till early the next morning.
It was an eye opener to say the least. It felt exactly like reading ‘he’s just not that into you’ three years ago. I felt like someone was pulling my eyelids open so I could really see.
Now, I’m not hating on ANYONE who eats meat. Ever, so don’t feel guilty or weird after reading this if you do eat meat.
I have always eaten meat, its what I grew up knowing. There were times where I rejected it for months because the taste didn’t sit right with me or I just felt weird everytime I ate it. But I would end up on some diet and chicken breasts would be the main deal so I would start again. I only ate chicken and once or twice a year I would indulge in a bk burger because I wasn’t a beef fan and even moreso after reading a Deepak chopra book in my teens.I just had a weird weakness for bk burgers and theirs only. (I know..weird).
Anyways. I promptly quit eating milk cheese eggs and all meat after reading this book. I didn’t have to force myself of ‘make up my mind’. It just happened.
I felt irresponsible? I never knew anything about the meat and dairy industries and I was pretty naïve to think that all cows and chickens and other animals were allowed to live happy lives and that I would consume them after they died of natural causes. It NEVER occurred to me that these animals may have been treated like they are.
I felt pretty stupid and slapped across the face.
When I mentioned that to the turtle he responded with an incredulous ‘you NEVER thought about that you never knew?’
I said NO! And asked him why he never told me. He assumed I knew…
Anyways fast forward a couple weeks and I became ill with the most godawful stomach pains. The doctor told me it was acid from not eating right so I had to reexamine what I was doing.
Having not thought out the vegan thing I pretty much ate crackers and soup and not much at that hence the acid thing.
I also felt a bit crappy and weak and so the turtle suggested that I eat cage free/free range eggs, nothing wrong with those.
I had to force myself to eat the egg but I took a long hard look at how I needed to eat and supplements I’d need to take.
I am having a lot of fun with vegetarian recipes (eating egg makes me no longer vegan)
I can’t say I feel different or well because I’ve been having weird pains for a month almost. Hopefully the doctors can sort out exactly what is wrong with me sooner rather than later!
Also I was diagnosed with the polycystic ovarian syndrome and carbs should be severely limited when you have this disease so that makes the whole veggie thing a little more difficult. But I’m rallying!
I’m taking a women’s multivitamin till I can go see a naturopath to help me figure out exactly what I need to be taking.
Sorry for the long winded post but its something I needed to write. None of it is well thought out or flows much but needed to be said.
My beliefs are mine and so are my decisions. I don’t judge you at all for eating meat so don’t be offended or anything. Ok? Okay.

Good Monday

2008-10-06T09:26:00.001-04:00

9:21 am on Monday morning.
I feel so quiet, peaceful and calm despite the banging going on outside.
They began painting our apartment building before I returned from my trip, so I haven’t had an unobstructed view of the mountains in forever.
They are finished and removing the steel jungle gym/cage (scaffolding).
I’m so excited I’m trying not to look out till they are completely finished.
It is difficult!
I read a new novel on knitting this weekend and my itch to pick up those needles are even greater!
I have just begun sorting through all my art supplies that my mother so lovingly stashed in a closet while I was gone! As if!
It is dusty work and my allergies went nuts. Now I inherited my mother’s weeklong cold on top of it.
I want to blog about my accidental veganism then my sudden switch to just vegetarian.
I will write the post and set it for tomorrow.
Perhaps I might have a lovely tiny painting to add to the post or perhaps not. We’ll see.
Happy Monday what are your plans today?

happy sunday:)

2008-10-05T18:26:00.001-04:00

So much to blog but i can't find the words today!
My brain is clogged with way too much snot.
Seriously, how much snot can a human head hold? I think mine is workin overtime here!
When i'm less stuffy i will blog (i hope thats tomorrow!)

Thursday

2008-10-02T18:11:00.001-04:00

Hm... not much to blog about today!
Tried to do the low carb thing today. Something tells me the veggie burger on the whole grain bread wasn't toooo low carby.
But i need to go to the store.
I miss the grocery stores in the states where u can find any and everything!
I miss bloom! I miss harris teeter! I miss my little healthfood store in leesburg.
I gotta get some leesburg pics together in a cute post.
I really miss leesburg.
Perhaps its because i left my heart there :)

Happy hump day.

2008-10-01T14:24:00.004-04:00

Its wednesday!
Public holiday here for the muslim festival of eid.
Eid mubarak if there are any of my muslim friends reading this :)
While i was on my bloggy break the darling Scrappydoo2u nominated me for the Brilliante Weblog Premio 2008 award.

My first bloggy award!! I was so stoked but bummed that i wasn't bloggying! So i'm posting about it now and will have to get it into my sidebar soon :) Thank you for that!
Also, the lovely Sarah of SheScraps has tagged me with the I love your blog meme.

here goes:

So here are the rules!
1. If you've been tagged, you can put the logo on your blog.
2. Link the person from whom you received the award.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs you've nominated.

My seven picks:

Go flying turtle
Vee
Kristina (skrapgirl)
Dawn
Susie
Tami
Heidi

In other news I haven't been feeling too well and was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. Part of this means changing my lifestyle (once again) to eating low carb. I have been vegetarian for just over a month having read Skinny Bitch (that is another post in itself) However, i have to readjust for allowing for low carb. I have done the atkins diet in the past with some degree of success however, i do not intend to be that strict about it. Perhaps i should look into the south beach diet instead as i hear its more forgiving. I seem to be drawing a blank as to what is allowable on low carb because i fully embraced my carboholic lifestyle :) Vegetarian low carb should be interesting :D. Onto my experiments and food journey in dealing with the pcos. I find it a bit frustrating but i'm new to it all and learning. Here's to more research and if anyone has any info on either topic (pcos or low carb) i would be most grateful! thanks guys:)

missing and prayers.

2008-09-29T09:20:00.001-04:00

Missing someone is such an interesting, layered emotion.
Sometimes you get busy and you brush it aside but it never stays away long.
It nags, it hurts, it makes you appreciate, it makes you sad, angry and yet happy to know that you do indeed love and want that person so much too.
I miss my guy in the most awful, awful way.
I have been praying a lot lately. Also thinking about prayer a lot.
I'm not by any means religious but i am spiritual.
I wonder sometimes if that makes my prayers any less effective or if i might be praying wrong.
My grandmother would always sit muttering to herself, i never once saw her enter a church or temple on any regular basis.
She would always say that God is wherever she was and that by opening her heart and mouth he would listen, regardless of location or method.
I grew up believing this and i still do.
I pray all the time. Sometimes i subscribe to my catholic school upbringing and make the sign of the cross or pray the rosary.
Sometimes i just say what is on my mind.
Sometimes i think praying for myself first is selfish and i feel guilty and switch to praying for others first.
Sometimes i entirely forget to pray for others or say a blanketed prayer like ' bless my friends and family'
Either way it feels good to pray.
Lately, i have been thinking also, that actions are prayers.
When you do something you love, lovingly, carefully, with passion and purpose, that definitely counts as prayer.
I read in a magazine that food provides nourishment and cooking nourishes the soul. (or something along those lines.)
I fully agree.
There is prayer in the process as well as the outcome.
I think i'm going to take my paints out for a spin today.
See what prayers i can create :)
I haven't really painted much since my show last year.
Time to get my chi,my prana, my energy flowing through that brush.
Sat nam.

hello from far far away?

2008-09-27T14:27:00.001-04:00

I feel like blogging again.
Ironic that i have also decided to spend time away from this thing and am looking into a different career path, one that has me moving more/interacting face to face and sitting here less.
I am back in the caribbean for what was supposed to be two months. Now i'm not so sure.
Life happens and i am O.K. with that.
I'm borrowing from Kal Barteski here in saying that LIFE IS HOW YOU MAKE IT - GOOD! (well she says it a bit diff but u get the point)
Despite all the weirdness going on and some medical issues, i am POSITIVE and HAPPY.
I miss my steve terribly but i trust that i am where i need to be right now.
How are you guys doing?
I don't know if we're calling this coming out of hibernation.......but i did tentatively promise to be back in the fall didn't i?
:)

Time out.

2008-07-23T00:23:00.001-04:00

Many changes
Many new fresh things.
Signs that i need to slow down and make changes.
I'm going to let myself off the hook a bit.
We all know i am terrible (ahem) at posting, but i'd like to not think tomorrow ' crap i haven't blogged in forever' and feel like a twit for being a total blog flake.
So i'm taking the summer off.
I don't think i will ever stop blogging but i do need to make changes.
I am rebranding and need the blog to reflect that.
Need to take a breath and catch my brain up with the changes that are taking place in my life though wonderful they may be, they're big changes. Scary changes.
So this is my last post of the summer.
Not sure when in the fall i will return but we'll see.
I hope the next few months are happy and peaceful ones for us all
Hugs!
Me.

Contest winners!

2008-07-14T00:32:00.001-04:00

21 entries.
I asked my guy to shout out a couple numbers and they corresponded to
kammie and kramer buffy.
I felt so sad about just choosing 2 out of 21 i decided to choose another and the lucky gal was scrappygal!
Email me or tally mail me your mailing addies so i can send off your buttons :D
Congrats gals!

GIVEAWAY!!!!!

2008-07-09T18:08:00.001-04:00

I've packaged up some of my buttons and given them out to some of my buddies.
I have two packages leftover and its up for grabs!
All you have to do to enter is to leave a comment on this post.
I'm going to draw two winners randomly on sunday at midnight.
Good luck!!:D

so i'm here.

2008-07-08T18:47:00.001-04:00

I haven't blogged in um, yea...a while.
Moving on.
We haven't had internet at the apt for a while.
We're going to go crawling back to our old isp because we have NO OTHER CHOICE we are bound. Whatever happened to this place being land of the 'free'?
Anyways there were enough f bombs in my last post so i won't start with our isp.
I'm at the coffee shop near our house and i'm headed straight to the gym after i leave here then i'm going home to scrap my little heart out because its been TOO LONG!
I started and quit my etsy shop within half hour last week.
I realised that that might constitute 'working' and i dont want to screw anything up since i'm not sure so i have to postpone it.
I have some product i had created for the store and while its not perishable stuff i don't want it laying around doing nothing.
Most of it has been given to friends but i might have one or two packages left over to do my first RAK on my bloggy!
Stay tuned:D

f u starbucks (again)

2008-06-18T09:52:00.003-04:00

T mobile can join in that big fuck you too.
I was meeting a friend for coffee/breakfast this morning and had 2 hours to kill before doing so.
With nowhere else to go, starbucks was the only option.
We all know how i feel about starbucks.
I had to get some "coffee" to sit here without the indian guilt creeping in so i got some.
It was too assy. ick.
Anyways i opened my laptop to kill some time when a tmobile page popped up and asked me to PAY FOR INTERNET USE.
As if.
The local coffee houses all have free internet so WHY CANT YOU HUH (i just erased a nice choice set of words that would make my mother disown me)
When i got online i googled this paying for internet thing and it pointed me to a starbucks page that says i could pay 3.99 for two hours? wha? Thanks for NOT OFFERING ME THAT OPTION BEFORE I PAID 9.99 for a day pass. Nice one! (just removed ANOTHER nice string of words)
I'm pissed.
While i'm at it. i will NEVER understand those girls who look daisy fresh and as put together as a lord and taylor store window at 8 frickin am. What? Do u skip the shower? Skip the sleep? Sleep in ur pumps? Have ur hair professionally blow dried at 6am? What? How?
If i'm to be anywhere early in the morning i will look perfectly homeless but smell fresh showered thats for damn sure.
Most of the day my lights are on but nobody's home. I will never be a morning person and i'm okay with that.
oh and starbux? You bring out the fuck you in me.
have a nice day!

Guttergirlz !

2008-06-16T18:30:00.002-04:00

I can finally spill the beans! I was asked to be on the Guttergirlz DT by the uber talented Rachel.
I am SO excited about this opportunity as i am about the amazing women that make up this team. Crazy off the hook creativity and spunk! LOVES!
Join in the fun over at the gutter girlz blog where NOTHING is off limits.
No rules, no bs, just scrap how you want when you want.
We play twice a month and each time u have the opportunity to win a guest DT spot!
What are YOU waiting for? Go on over and play!

quick hi!

2008-06-11T22:52:00.001-04:00

Running out for a late workout but needed to pop in and say hi.
I've been working my butt off on a cute little minibook (will show pics later this week) and also working out the details of a new business venture - which i can't share info about just yet!!!
And spending plenty of time returning phonecalls and keeping in touch with those i've neglected. whups!
I'm missing my friends back home somethin wicked! I think it might be better for them not to visit me at all because i am still in wicked withdrawal!
Hope everyone had an okay humpday.
Hello thursday!

chillin.

2008-06-09T21:56:00.002-04:00

Sitting at the apartment, wanting to get in my little space and make art but being lazy on the internet.
I've also been reading Citizen Girl and its hard to tear myself away from it long enough to get in there and really dig in. I'm working on a summer mini album and really loving the slower process. Color is inspiring me big time right now. Bright,unapologetic, in your face color together with crazy, good, texture. Total eye prozac.
I am loving it!
I bought scissors for $2 this weekend and today i got 4 for $2 at another store. whups!
Oh well.
Here is to tomorrow cooling down a little.
I had the air off today for the entire day. When the turtle got home he said ' um...why?' it climbed to 101 degrees around lunch and it remained fairly cool in here. I'm just lookin out for our electric bill.
Off to my scraproom :)

Dona Nobis Pacem

2008-06-08T15:57:00.001-04:00

I am sorry i did not post the peace post on june 4th as i was supposed to
On june 4th i experienced my first tornado.
I wasn't even thinking about the internet/my computer- let alone in any frame of mind to blog.
I do apologize and please expect regular (irregular) posting to return this week.
I'm over it.
I'm scrapping
I'm happy :)

hola!

2008-06-02T23:58:00.003-04:00

i'm posting this from my new laptop!!

I love it. He is unnamed at this time.
Pablo2.0 perhaps..not sure.
I spent the evening getting things sorted and setting up our home network!
Yes!! I didn't need help and i didn't make any frantic phonecalls i did it all by myself. It works great and its all secure! Woot!
We just got back from a late workout and i'm going to hit the sack soon.
Plan for tomorrow : work on inventory some more, a little more studio organization and i can FINALLY listen to music while i work yay!

You know the drill.

2008-06-01T11:04:00.001-04:00

I'm still here.
This week was CRAZY and eventful to say the least.
My best friend was out visiting me and we shopped a ton laughed a ton, drank a ton and well too much of everything but it was a BLAST!
I was SO sad when she left and some sad news on top of it just put me in a hole for a couple days.
I was finally able to shrug it off and get out for some exercise.
Trusting that things are meant to be for reasons we are just sometimes not supposed to know or understand.
I threw myself into a weekend crop at tallyscrapper and i'm having fun! Can't wait to tie up posting/email etc to get to some scrappin!
I have to go to the grocery store..a chore i pretty much despise.
But then its all scrappin save for an hour of exercise then back to scrappin again.
Hope everyone has an amazing weekend.
If you're sad,upset or confused? Push through and trust that you are where you are for a REASON.
Live well, love hard, smile often.
peace.

hello weekend

2008-05-23T15:52:00.001-04:00

You took a long while to get here this week, dear weekend.
If you're not all that ur supposed to be
i will hunt you down and kick your ass

love, me.

MY MEME!

2008-05-22T10:11:00.003-04:00

I love doing memes and haven't in a bit so i figure i'd ask some scrappy related stuff cuz a) i feel like doing a meme b) i'm nosy and c) i am super interested in all things scraptastic! Hor!
Here goes . I tag anyone who is interested and my girls at TallyScrapper too! (will post on mb)

1. How long have you been scrapping? 3 weeks 'officially'
2. What products can u absolutely NOT live without ? Tape runner, blank transparencies, chipboard stuff, epoxy stickers, book rings, micron pens.
3. Whats is your fave snack while scrapping? M&ms but to roll with me u gota call them emnems and u CANNOT chew them. they must be appreciated in layers. please suck.
4. Do you prefer crops or scrapping alone? crop! The more the merrier!
5. Whats your fave scrappy brand? Making memories, me and my big ideas, basic grey, ki memories
6. Have you ever been on a design team? No but its a goal. I'm new so hopefully someone will see my talent soon . Do u need to sign up for these things or just hope and hold ur breath? Cuz i don't think i'd make a great lookin smurf.....
7. What colors do u find yourself using most often? Pink, orange, teal
8. Whats your position on using gluestick? Hell no. The end.
9. Do you scare yourself with the scrap shopping or overshopping? Yes. But i'm new to it so perhaps i'll cool down soon enough.
10. Minibooks or single layouts? I am ALL about the minibooks :D
11.Ice cream or cupcakes? cupcakes! with pink frosting and sprinkles. And love. You must bake love into your cupcakes.

Have fun ! :D I swear i made up better questions before i fell asleep last night. D'oh! don't worry i might make this a monthly thing :D More fun than other monthly things thats for sure LOL :P
Hey i'm in no way affiliated with making memories but does anyone have their wall shelf or desktop caddy? I've got a michaels coupon and i'm wondering which i should use it on. Thanks!:)

ENJOYYY!!!

happy tuesday.

2008-05-20T19:18:00.001-04:00

Today i was up and down an emotional rollercoaster.
i'm NOT pmsing. I'm blaming it on the lack of creating.
Seriously.
I am one pissy whiny freak when i can't get my creativity going.
We've been shuffling around the apartment to make room for me and my stuff and i am sick of creating on the coffee table because i like to make a mess.
I hate it that we look robbed everytime i make art.
So i need me a space and a space me was gonna get.
Ya hear?
The spare room became my target and i had the turtle move his old desk so that it created a 'nook' for me.
I was all ready to decorate the nook and set up shop (like a week ago so i could work on some scrapbooking and art projects for the apt) Then i realised we could no longer fit the air bed in there when we have guests.
Poo.
We're having guests this week so i had to figure out a different arrangement.
this arrangement will actually work better but involves us moving stuff around AGAIN.
Heavy things like book cases stuffed with big books and meticulously organized cd cases.
If i was to claim any closet space in this place we had to clean/purge stuff and boy did we.
Two whole days of dusting and scrubbing and rearranging and we have so much closet space we could rent it out to someone who needs it!
However, we have yet to get around to moving the furniture in 'my' space and we are SO getting to it tonight.
I had big ideas of moving it myself today but i spent most of the day putting together the worlds weirdest shelving system and doing some cleaning (yes we have cleaning even after the weekend overhaul)
So, by tonight my furniture should be in place and i can begin moving my art supplies to their rightful place and i can create tomorrow! YAY!
I will post pics when it looks presentable enough to photograph :)
and yes, there will probably be pink. The only area i am allowed to put a touch of warm fuzzies. I suggested persimmon as an accent color in the living room last night but the turtle put THAT idea to rest real quick.
Eugh. Boys!:P

100

2008-05-19T12:46:00.001-04:00

She would have been 100 years old last saturday.
As i scrubbed the walls in our porch, i wondered what i should to to celebrate or remember her.
I started tearing up as i realised i was doing the perfect thing already.
Spring cleaning!
Emptied all closets, purged a ton of stuff for goodwill and planet aid and re organised the rest.
My grandmother was a neat, clean, simple and loving woman.
She was quiet and always had room for anyone passing through.
I remember as a kid (back then this was fairly safe to do). At the first sign of rain she would run out and open the garage gate as an invitation to passerbys to stop for shelter. Usually it would be neighbours walking down the street but sometimes it was total strangers and she treated all of them the same.
Every morning she would sweep the length of our patio and the sidewalk out front. She would sweep up to the neighbor's house and then chat briefly with her, knowing in a couple hours they would meet again at our house or hers, to watch 'the story ' (soap opera. the young and the restless)
Those years went by too quickly.
100 years.
Wow.
The magnitude of it just seemed to overwhelm me when i thought about it again this morning.
The eras that passed, the things she saw, the life she lived.
I don't for one second doubt that she is up there guiding me as much as her blood flows through my veins.
I feel her presence and peace. I call out to her when i'm hurt and sad.
I miss you mama. I love you.

boo hiss conde nast

2008-05-16T13:03:00.001-04:00

Yesterday i subscribed to Domino magazine a conde nast publication.
They asked if i would like to also subscribe to lucky mag, nope, no thanks.
I got a confirmation shortly after that my subscription was being processed for domino......AND bon apetit magazine.
Um, no, there was NOTHING about bon apetit just domino and lucky and i said no to lucky.
The customer service rep on the phone was adamant that i had clicked something to trigger the bon apetit sub. i DID NOT.
I even went back to the sub form just now and like yesterday, only lucky showed up as an extra option.
The CSR removed the bon apetit subscription and told me the money would be refunded to my credit card but she was rude and condescending. ' YOU clicked something but (insert the fake sweet here) i will go ahead and remove your subscription but YOU DID click something.'
Bitch, please.
Get over yourself.
I'm in total agreement that the database was somehow triggered but I DID NOT TRIGGER IT BY CLICKING 'SOMETHING' because i READ EVERYTHING before i click.
Blame it on the day job. But i'm thorough about my web surfing when it comes to filling out forms.
So boooooooo. I feel like cancelling domino too.
$1 per issue is awesome tho so i'll keep it. At least for a year.

heya!

2008-05-15T13:03:00.001-04:00

I've been having fun being crafty and we had a busy weekend.
Yesterday was our 2 year anniversary and we had a fun night with home made pizza and movies.
He also said its not over for me so i wonder what my turtle has up his shell huh
I'm enjoying the attention though tee hee.
He bought me gorgeous roses yesterday and they brighten up the room nicely!
We watched cloverfield and enchanted last nite. Strange things lined up between the two movies (two movies that could not have been more different) and we thoroughly enjoyed them both. Whats not to love about ending the night with a patrick dempsey movie? tee hee :D
Earlier in the week we spent a couple evenings hanging his students artwork at the mall near here. It was hard work but the kids will love it the display looks amazing!
Hopefully we'll head over to opening night on friday so we can see the kids get excited about their show.
Enjoy your thursday!!

post deux

2008-05-08T12:51:00.003-04:00

I am tickled pink!!!!!
I am the biggest dork ever but i've been emailing with Margie Romney- Aslett this morning!
I love her blog and the company she works for - making memories, has been making me twelve kinds of happy lately, ever since i discovered them!
Seeing the mm logo on anything just makes me light up and grin and it makes the turtle blanch because he knows i'm going to be going on and on and ON about a particular item till i eventually go buy it lol.
Anyways i emailed margie because i was just so happy and excited about mm after going to michaels last night (where i just stood in front of the mm area and took it all in and made an inventory in my head of what i own and what i plan on getting next). I HAD to thank her for turning me on to it via her blog.
Her passion for her work and her family kept me coming back to her blog and my curiousity over mm was peaked. I finally can play with all the gorgy mm items and i am forever thankful to her for being my introduction to mm. Yay Margie!!!
She is the sweetest gal too indulging me in my silly little emails all morning lol.
Yay woot!

Jokin Java

2008-05-08T12:03:00.001-04:00

Seriously.
I used to adore starbucks.
I still love the cups but the actual coffee? Not so much.
I've actually started pouting whenever starbucks is my only option.
I don't know what it is but i can't stand their coffee anymore.
I never thought me, the starbucks nut, would ever be over it.
But i am.
The fraps are too sweet, the taste of their coffee just assaults my taste buds. I have tried several different things because i just figured my taste changed - but no. blech.
I took a chance again yesterday evening with the turtle.
I handed him my cup as i stood outside starbucks gagging.
It tasted like my coffee was spiked with parsley.
Seriously.
Ew.
I couldn't get past the first sip and just decided to give up on it.
The turtle laughed his ass off as i stood there in the parking lot sputtering that i can't deal i jus jus j j just can't deal ugh i can't deal!
So i'm a bit of a drama queen.
hee hee.

mini book and a monster in the making.

2008-05-07T21:45:00.002-04:00

here are a couple peeks into the minibook i started for NSD.
I went to two michaels and an AC Moore tonight.

Last night i tried to go to two michaels and an AC Moore but only ended up at one Michaels.
What did i want?
Nothing in particular.
I needed some mini retail therapy to relax after a nutty nutty day.

Then i realised there was a 50% off coupon for martha stewart stuff...omg.
Had to find a flyer!
I had a 20% off coupon from my scrapbooks etc mag and 50% off on martha sounded a lot better along with the other 40% coupon in this week's flyer.
For some off reason we didn't get a flyer in the mail and stupid me didn't think to pick one up on saturday! UGH!

Long story short, i knew u could use ac moore coupons at michaels so i printed out 2 (one for me one for the turtle).Thought to call michaels and they dont accept printed coupons only flyer and on the bill gah! I decided to go to ac moore to see if they had more scrapbook totes than michaels.

I ended up getting 2 inkpads that were on sale because their tote options weren't great. I got a 50% coupon printed with the bill....HM i could use that at MICHAELS! So i went to a michaels and they didn't have the color tote i wanted and i knew there was just one left at our local michaels so i hightailed it over there and lo and behold i got it. Yay woot!

I heart coupons. I'm officially a thrifty granny.
I'm turning into a scrapbooking shopping monster.
I really need to chill.

pippy

2008-05-06T19:09:00.001-04:00

i found him under a tree in a garden.
How many kinds of cute is he?!
I love this photo. Love. Love! I might print it out and hang it somewhere.
I'll be back tonight hopefully to post a couple peeks of the mini album i'm working on.
If not, definitely tomorrow.
Theres a scrapbooking sale on at michaels and i've had a heck of a day (the kind involving fire and burned fingers and spilled coffee and not the right kind of chocolate and i neeeeed me a shopping fix)!
Off i go!

National Scrapbooking Day!

2008-05-05T09:56:00.007-04:00

Hi guys!
National Scrapbooking Day was on saturday. (not that i got much scrapping done!)
I shopped for scrapbooking supplies and then got to scrap a tiny bit when i got home that night.
The real fun celebration was the kickoff crop on Friday night at Wendi's gorgeous home.
I met lots of scrappy ladies who were all making amazing scrappy stuff and we had SO MUCH FUN! We laughed so much and Wendi organised fun games that we played through the night. I scrapped till 12:30 then i left.
Thank you Wendi!

How lovely is that cake?! It tasted really good too!

Look at all that food!

More yummies

The album i started working on. I'll take better pics with my other camera this week when i get more done on it.

I just loved how her cat coordinated with her flooring! lol

Heres a blurry pic of the scrap area / gals at work. I figured since i didn't get permission from anyone to put their pics up they wouldn't mind a quick blurry shot!
I brought my old cheapy purse camera (which i've totally forgotten how to use) because i didn't think there'd be room from bruno but there's room so i'm brining him next time!
Scrap on!

The one where this blog makes a change

2008-05-02T11:25:00.001-04:00

I've been blogging for a long time.
5 people years, 35 dog years. Thats a LOT people.
I've met a lot of great people and got some projects out of it but i need to do more.
No i'm not closing my blog noooooo.
I just am making it more of a tool.(nooo not that kinda tool, tool.)
There are a lot of things i make and do and its time to showcase that more.
I will also be closing my cafepress stores and opening up an etsy shop so that you can purchase my art/ designs/jewelry/scrapbooking items etc!
I also need to work harder at this blogging thing, participate more and generally be a better community member here, at flickr and eventually at etsy.
I hope you will support me in this change, i will probably still throw in the occasional rant and whine cuz lets face it, i'm not changing, the blog is :P
I toyed with a new name for the blog too, but i'm not sure if that erases my links or anything so we'll see. Casting- on sounds a bit knitty but it really is about casting-on to begin a journey of creation....i think i'll keep it. DID U SEE THAT? I just MADE A DECISION! wow.
Let the new world open and life begin.
Roar!

meme!

2008-04-29T15:59:00.002-04:00

I haven't done one of these in forever and i saw it on this girl's fabulous blog so here goes!
Have you ever…

(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped School
(x) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country
(x) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( x) Played cops and robbers (only we call this police an teef!)
(x ) Recently colored with crayons
() Sang Karaoke ….
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only?
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose - or other places!
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
() Gone ice-skating
(x ) Been skinny dipping outdoors

finoodling bees.

2008-04-25T19:40:00.002-04:00

i HATE bees.
When i wasn't looking, two bees snuck into the apartment and wrecked havoc.
One of the bees got into my purse.........
The turtle went batshit insane and beat the crap outta my purse with a broom (that subsquently broke) and then he proceeded to stomp on it.
About ten minutes later he killed a bee that was on the window sill. I don't even think the bee was in my purse:(
Sayonara Chanel bronzer, my fave pink lipstick, my estee quad of perfection. Miraculously my ipod works tho its a bit scratched. My little purse camera was surprisingly not in my purse. Crap...didn't check my medicine purse (full of drugs i can't find here in the US...fuck...)
Sigh.
I'm mourning the loss of my bronzer.
Its my fave and i can't find it anywhere. I thought i lost it in NY only to find it YESTERDAY and i was so flippin happy and excited when i put it on. MY face finally came back to life then wham...gone again :(
I am tres upset.
I know it sounds shallow and i'm happy none of us got stung but.......my bronzer man...it was also the best sized mirrored compact in my purse
boo hiss.
i hate bees.

definitely,spring.

2008-04-24T14:11:00.001-04:00

breathe,
life is GOOD.

weird.

2008-04-23T12:55:00.001-04:00

for some reason i was only just notified of a ton of comments left over the past 2 months or so. Sorry for not responding or publishing to blog.
weird blogger!

craving sunshine.

2008-04-22T14:21:00.002-04:00

yep, me, miss i like it cold and dreary.
I've had several days of dreary rain and thunderstorms.
Yucky.
It has had a huge impact on my mood.
I was in such a mood yesterday evening that we ended up going to the coffee house for a couple hours after dinner.
That ALWAYS cheers me up.
Just being around people, smelling and having yummy coffee (decaf last night).
We indulged in a chocolate chip cookie each and curled up on comfy chairs to read and sketch.
It was a nice, cosy, somewhat quiet time.

yum.

11:40 pm

2008-04-17T23:45:00.001-04:00

This is our first night apart since i arrived here 1 month ago.
Eep.
He's out with a friend at a concert.
I love him but i wouldn't last at a concert full of his music.
Its not bad, its interesting, but its no angry bitch with a guitar.
Nuff said.
I miss him. All i can think about right now is snuggling up next to him when he comes home and falling sweetly asleep.
Crazy.
I had a fun evening. I baked muffins for him and his friend (who is staying with us for a few days) and i baked him some lemon cookies to take to work.
The evening has passed fairly quickly so far, i planned on scrapbooking - making a long overdue minibook about us but i got as far as printing pics before the thought of cleaning up my scrapbooking mess stopped me in my tracks. That and doing some research.
Normally i'd not give a rats ass about the scrap mess but his friend is here and i'd like the apartment to look like humans live here.
I'll hold off on the crafty goodness till the weekend.
I'm off to tidy up the kitchen and shower and slip into bed with a yummylicious book and hug my pillow till he comes home.

adventure on the open road.

2008-04-15T16:21:00.001-04:00

Hehe.
I headed out this afternoon, grabbed my sneakers, ipod, giant purse and walked down to the local bead shop.
I spent a couple hours walking around and choosing some beads and signed up for a class on sunday.
I can't wait! I am SO excited!!!
I bought supplies last week and played around a little. I thinkgoing to the class will be loads of fun as i'll get to meet some local gals (hopefully they're not all 90) and learn some proper techniques as i'm DEAD certain the stuff i've been doing would make any bead artist cringe.
I love being able to explore different crafts and really give into my creativity and just have FUN creating again. yay woot.
I wasn't able to walk back home as the turtle was done with school and planned to stop by the apartment to surprise me and spend some time with me, before teaching his autism class so he picked me up and we got coffee and came home. He's off at his class and i'm about to get creative with the goodies i picked up earlier!:D

thoughts and realizations.

2008-04-14T12:09:00.001-04:00

So we conducted a little experiment last week.
No spending.
NONE
not one bit.
We made do with the groceries we had on hand and had some creative (ahem mishmosh) of meals.
We found many free things to do for fun and exercise
But i admit, it was brutal to have my hands tied and out of my wallet.
Good lesson in how much we rely on idle spending for so many things.
We would go out for coffee or to the craft store and i'd always pick up a little item or two.
Things i needed cropped up and i had to do without.
it was also tht time of the month and boy did i want some chocolate or a nice sweet treat.
I made do with orange slices and frozen grapes.
We went to the park one evening and man was it hard not to go get coffee on the way back home.
By thursday we realised that we had coupons for free ice cream (nice time to remember) so we went out and got that but wow did we enjoy and appreciate it.
We saved money and had a good lesson in living with less. Who knew less would be enough.
I loved being creative and using what we had and i appreciated my coffee on saturday morning so much more than having it every day.
We plan on repeating this experiment at least 2 times a month and maybe some days in between. We chose two days this week to be spend free and while it was more difficult than i expected (because back in trinidad ibarely spend money) it was a great learning experience.
I think it was more difficult for him because he has grown up in this consumer driven, disposable country.
I love that everything is available at practically every price point here but you don't have to take advantage of it ALL, ALL the time.
I understand this, coming from where i've come from. But it is EASY to get sucked into the shop shop shop buy buy buy use use use toss toss toss cycle.
I'm pretty happy to have held it together so well for the past month (in terms of saying no to my big eyes).
Yay.

craving simplicity

2008-04-10T15:12:00.004-04:00

I am the first person to pipe up and say i'm a fall person because i like having a reason to get warm and snuggle and nest.
BUT
I must admit, i am LOVING the spring.
I can see why its such a revitalising season.
The world is waking up.
The colors are becoming much more saturated and beautiful, the blossoms are out, you can go out and be out and breathe in the fresh air and be more active.
i am loving it. I am really surprising myself.
I'm loving the simple elegant yet rustic beauty of spring in this area.
It is revving up my creativity and making me rethink and take stock.
I want to try new things and do new things and just really wake up in so many ways.
For instance, i feel like re thinking my wardrobe and the way i dress. Something i tried doing last year in trinidad, but fear of 'what people will think' about 'how i look' kept the new clothes mostly in my closet.
Here i feel like i can be me. Blossom, come out of my shell, embrace change and just go with it.
My tastes for food are also changing.
Being away from some of my fave herbs and not being able to find it, i've been trying alternatives and using less and i am loving it.
I am loving being able to distinguish the different flavors on my tongue and embracing each one.
Just like limiting the number of fonts used in one ad..i'm loving the simpler tastes in food.
I am also loving making my own dressings.
I think bottled dressings are a thing of the past for me.
After experimenting and tasting the crisp freshness of the vegetable just being enhanced by simple flavors, not drowned by preservatives.
Mmm, priceless.
Dare i say, i'm loving my simple, simple life.
Tomorrow i will post about this weekly experiment that steve and i have undertaken.
Friday marks the end of our weeklong experiment i can't wait to blog about it. Today's post was definitely inspired by it. I love that we are in the home stretch (because yesterday was absolutely gruelling and endless) but i am actually excited to repeat this experiment in the future.

thinking too much.

2008-04-08T14:12:00.001-04:00

i'm sitting here blowing grape scented bubbles again.
thinking
thinking
All the people i've seen with successful crafty businesses are horn tooters.
They have a great level of confidence and believe in themselves and toot their horns. loudly.
and why not? you HAVE to think ur the shit before someone else can.
So i'm thinking i might just do what i do
love what i do
and hope that someone loves it to
just dig in and do. no thinking. just doing.
going to brainstorm and make at least 5 items for sale.
just
do.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” Henry David Thoreau.

its time to get that life out of my imagination and into reality.
GO GO GO

weekend recap and other assorted tales.

2008-04-07T23:55:00.001-04:00

i love naming my blog posts enid blyton style:)
We had a lovely weekend.
On saturday I felt shitty to say the least (thanks period!)
so we opted to stay in since they said the weather would be shitty as hell.
The weather was great and it sucked because on sunday we went out and the weather was hellish.
On saturday we got caught up on all the house cleaning/laundry etc and entertained a friend.
It was lovely to just chill and not have anything pressing to do.
On sunday we went to brunch at my uncle's house and he drove us to this AMAZING place to see cherry blossoms.
Its a neighborhood in bethesda that is simply COVERED in cherry blossom trees. I took a billion pics but i have to upload them.
It was a breathtaking sight. Truly.
It is so wonderful to feel relaxed and to just breathe.
Drinking yummy coffee, blowing grape scented bubbles and being able to look around and see new, exciting things that rev up my creativity in a million different ways.
I don't need to remember to breathe.
Its just happening here.
I'm working on a fun minibook and i'll show a peek later in the week.
My honey (the turtle) drilled through some cardboard tonight so i could make covers for the book. It was so cute. Hes so handy!
And gosh darnit is he CUTE!
eep:D

Friday.

2008-04-04T13:29:00.001-04:00

Yay!
I get excited on fridays because i have two whole uninterrupted days with the turtle.
I like being his little blind navigator on trips (my glasses should arrive tomorrow hopefully!)
I also just like chill time making art together or laughing at how silly tv can be.
Time together is GOOD.
This weekend we have plans to visit with friends, family and then totally unplanned time cept for using my 50% off coupon at AC Moore tee hee :D
Won't mind if any of those plans fall through as i want to be selfish and just hug this cute guy all weekend long.
A thousand pardons if i've made you throw up in your mouth a little.
But, corny as it is, this is MY now.

Simple

2008-04-03T12:24:00.001-04:00

I am loving quiet time.
Not silent time, quiet time.
Last night i lay on the couch with a glass of red wine and Style by Kate Spade.
I love reading about how other artists get inspiration.
I remember being so weirded out by the fact that we could use references like books/pics etc when working on designs at school. Based on what i was 'taught' in highschool that was 'cheating'. EVERY artist uses some sort of reference for inspiration.
Its good to know that sometimes the ideas just don't 'fall out of the clouds'
I read lotta jansdotter's book from cover to cover without stopping last weekend. THAT was a giant whopping breath of fresh air.
LOVE!
Right now i'm sitting in front of the computer listening to Rachael Yamagata her voice is so simple and soothing. I'm eating three red strawberries that are nestled in a fluffy bed of light vanilla yogurt and i'm eating out of the cutest translucent aqua bowl, with a silvertone spoon.
That, my friends, is my today bliss.

Holla

2008-04-02T13:16:00.001-04:00

I did say i was going to blog more, didn't i?
Well i decided to stop reading blogs for a bit and write in my own damned blog.
I'm posting a pic of my new purse.
I can't tell you how many kinds of happy this purse makes me!
Its HUGE
HUUUUUUGE
The turtle can't understand how /why i carry it around. When he has to hold it he exclaims about the weight of it.
I love it. It can carry my whole life.
I call it the swamp thing because its this awesome shade of chartreuse.
In it i carry both my cameras, my rosebud salve and other makeuppy things. Journal, sketchbook, wallet, cellphone, keys, a pashmina, whatever book i'm reading, couple pens/pencils/markers and other randoms that i manage to throw in on different days.
I heart my big green h&m purse.
i'm blogging from the turtle's mac again. My pc is definitely acting up for the first time since i got him 2 years ago.
In pablo's defense, he's done way more work than a laptop probably is designed to do.
We also won't mention how many times he's been slammed into furniture or a door frame in his little cute but unpadded pink bag.
Oops.
I've deleted most of the crap that i don't use and i'm defragging it.
2 hours and counting we're at 21%. Not toooo shabby.
I figure by tonight i can test it out and see if it'll be alright.
If he isn't ok i might have my mom mail me my restore cds and format the ol guy. Or just continue using the turtle's puter till i get back to the ol island (choke, vomit)

I live.

2008-03-27T14:38:00.001-04:00

Heyas. I doubt anyone is still reading the ole blog, but on the off chance that you checked, i'm still alive and well.
I'm also determined to start blogging again and quit being such a disappearing act.
I'm in VA with the turtle and ihave been for almost two weeks now!
Before that i spent a gloriously fun week in NY with my best friend.
We met random strangers and had fun lunches and afternoon sprees with them and also hung with my buddies who i missed so so SO very much.
We fell in love with Max Brenner and had mouth gasms with our amazing dessert, but surprisingly the lunch itself was frickin AMAZING!
We discovered a whole host of new restaurants though and i'll have to blog about this cute little place we went to called papabubble.
Va thus far has been amazing , fun, interesting and i love discovering new little things. I can't wait to experience it through the lens ofr my NEW CAMERA!
I bit the bullet and bought me an SLR!!
However the memory cards were cheapest online so i opted to buy online - only we were hardly ever home long enough for me to place the order and i kept forgetting to.
I ordered it LAST THURSDAY and it hasn't arrived yet.
BOO HISS ACE PHOTO!
I keep waiting for the UPS guy to get here and i'm going batshit insane!
If it doesn't arrive by tomorrow i'm goin to bite the bullet and purchase a CF card from radioshak where they're cheaper.
I cannot WAIT to review this frickin company when amazon sends me the referral thing.
Slow pokes
BOO!
I'm grumpy i think because i'm so sleepy!
I napped today - if you know me, i'm never a morning person but i also NEVER NAP!
NEVER EVER!
I laid down fully expecting to rise a few mins later totally pissed for trying to nap but nope. I woke up a full two hours later when the turtle called to say hi
There are mile high dishes in the sink (ahem turtle)
So i'm goin to get those done and tidy up the living room aka my craft area.
I so dont feel like cooking tonite so perhaps we might hit up mandarin express. I don't want to do takeout but i also dont want to cook tonite.
how are you guys doing?

four

2008-03-04T12:55:00.001-04:00

my lucky number.
Born at 4:04 on the 4th day of the week weighing 4lbs 4 oz i feel a connection to the number 4.
Thats how many days left.
so i'm gonna group today's post into 4s

4 things i have to do today
Edit photos
Build website shell
Nag client
Stop researching cameras

4 fun weekend things
raising our arms while driving downhill and shrieking rollercoaster style. (yea...)
singing at the top of our lungs on unbelievably long dark roads
falling in love with some of this island
laughing so hard i couldn't breathe, more times than i could count.

wheee go 4!

9 things on day 9

2008-02-28T15:26:00.002-04:00

1. Mood is considerably brighter today. Must be that pink digital paint i used yesterday.

2. Photoshoot is going to be slamming! The energy is building.

3. Project low carb is in the middle of day 1 right now. Going good!

4. Making lists. I LOVE making lists!

5. My period is kicking my butt but in a good way.

6. I'm watching Martha. I heart martha.

7. I'm sort of okay with the idea that i might not get those two sites done. Not my fault, let go. If by some miracle they deliver so that I can deliver. Yay. If not, fuck them.

8. New hair tomorrow. Not a big change but new hair is always happy.

9. Trip shopping take twenty. Presents n whatnot. ( man u'd not believe what i've been out of! I gotta replenish everything)

Im going to to my best to REALLY pack light this time. I am sick of always lugging too much crap and never using half of it. If i have half a doubt about anything i'm just not going to bring it.

ten more days.

2008-02-27T16:06:00.001-04:00

Ten
More
Stinkin
Days.
If they're anything like today i might just go batshit insane before it gets here.
I need to:
Shop for stuff i need
Get a haircut
Get waxed
Lose the nasty bruise i managed to get today
Do a photoshoot several hours away
Finish two websites
Figure out what i need to pack, pack it.
Get my nails to look like something hasn't been chewing at it
Lose 5lbs
Find my passport
Book my ticket
Figure out where i live
Stay away from carbs/salt.
Get some pants altered
Drop off my dry cleaning
Stop bleeding
Work out
Make some dam art to make this all okay.
And you're wondering why i'm not excited yet?
I'm too exhausted (mentally) to be excited about anything.
I'm trying to get happy tho see...happy...maybe i need some of those shots up top.
HAPPY! i'm a happy lil fucker.

dear period.

2008-02-26T16:08:00.002-04:00

We need to talk.
I know we met ...what? 15 years ago? I was excited about you for all of one hour. You got old quickly. Like that weird relative who shows up and you're excited because it gets your mom off your back and you can be on the phone for an hour without getting looks (pre call waiting days) then they start acting like an extra parents and making you do horrible things like homework before u even change out of your school clothes.
Anyways.
For as long as i've known you, you've been a fickle bitch.
Pain in the .....ovaries.
You've made me writhe in pain and wonder what the hell the first woman did to deserve this goddamned crimson curse.
You've made me walk around with sweaters around my waist in 100 degree weather, and you've made me miss out on more than one pool party or other associated fun social event.
You've made me wear pads so thick i'm two inches taller when i sit down and failed me when i've tried to wear thinner, less embarrassing pads.
You've made me miss out on fun with the boyfriend and make it hard to get my skinny jeans on every month.
You show up at the wrong time, overstay your welcome and make me ingest large pills that make me loopy.
For the past couple months you have been acting especially crazy.
When i think you finally have your act together and we can continue to co exist once a month for another 35 years or so, you go and fuck it up royally.
Take this past month, you never really left. I think i've had about 4 days this month without you. And now you've come back.
I am NOT cool with this. Not cool at all.
I'm hoping that this time its just your regularly scheduled visit and after this little talk you'll understand that i'm only renewing your visitation rights for once a month 5-7 days MAX and that you will not make my ovaries cry out bloody fucking murder.
Understand?
Talk soon,

Me.

you are the cheese to my macaroni.

2008-02-25T16:48:00.003-04:00

Re branding?

2008-02-21T14:07:00.001-04:00

I have a website.
I have a flickr account
I have a blog.
I've been thinking lately about combining the three and beginning to take this more seriously than just a hobby.
My website gets updated once maybe twice a year and it stays that way. Stagnant.
Nothing to see here folks.
I update my blog way more regularly.
I want to move toward making money off my art (on a regular basis) and i think that my blog /flickr/site is the way to go.
Perhaps as a cohesive unit instead of individual, almost unrelated entities.
I need to think and to plan.
What i need is coffee, park bench, notebook,pen,nyc vibe.
Nod.

These are the days of our lives.

2008-02-20T18:06:00.001-04:00

Every wednesday i allow myself to have a diet coke.
Why only once?
I hate fake things but i love how this tastes.I spread it out over two meals or a meal and a snack though.
One per week does it for me.
Crix pepper cheese crackers - i don't doubt that these are laced with crack. I am ab so lou te ly addicted.
I also allow myself to eat a bit more loosely on wednesday. I don't go buck wild but i'm not as strict with myself.
It works.
Could i possibly blog about anything more boring in the whole wide world?
I'm going on vacation next month and a friend of mine told me today that i should be super excited about it.
I'm not.
I have my moments, though.
Don't get me wrong, my destination and things i/we plan on doing are exciting but i hate flying. So i think i might be preoccupied with that and the associated airport bs.
I'm usually fine once i'm buckled in and can get excited.
But the airport scene stressed me out since way before 9/11.
I started hating flying from the time my only care in the world was packing my backback with comics and puzzle books.
And the whole taking off ur shoes thing?
Such horseshittery.
I'm wearing slip on flats this time.
Anyone know what i can and can't carry on board? I sadly haven't flown since the whole lotion/bottled water whatever ban.
As long as i can bring the pod, some magazines, lipstick and a little bit of lotion i'll be foine.
Oh, and the camera, cuz taking pics of interesting cloud formations is what i'm all about .
Mm hm.

Cheeky,lippy biatch.

2008-02-17T14:51:00.001-04:00

So not like i blogged about it ,but, last year it was all about the eyes for me.
Playing with new colors and falsies and finding different shapes for my eyeliner.
I was ALL about the clinique creamliner last year and i'm still loving it (jar # 3 in about 12 months)
I have tried MAC's fluidline but only in a metallic color and wasn't happy with the results. I have yet to try blacktrack that everyone raves about.
Anyways this year it is ALL about the cheeks and lips.
I'm all for a nude cheek/nude lip to enhance the eyes but lately i've been downplaying the eyes a bit and doing more of a pink/plum or peachy cheek and a bit brighter on the lippies.
Its not evident in the pic at left heh..just didn't have another makeup pic.
Bright peachy cheeks with some peach gloss
Bright melon cheeks with sheer melon lips
Yummy.
Seems i might be onto something as most spring trends i've seen, appear to be heading in that direction too.
A little contouring, a little highlighting and a gorgeous fresh, bright pop of color.
Lets hear it for the cheeks:)

saturday afternoon talk

2008-02-16T16:15:00.001-04:00

KrisKris02 (4:08:03 PM): i'm organising my bookmarks
KrisKris02 (4:08:06 PM): i'm hardcore.
eker1677 (4:09:29 PM): nice
eker1677 (4:09:39 PM): using del.icio.us yet?
KrisKris02 (4:10:45 PM): no
KrisKris02 (4:10:48 PM): it annoys me
KrisKris02 (4:10:56 PM): the spelling. can't get past it.
eker1677 (4:12:57 PM): seek help
KrisKris02 (4:13:10 PM): no. i like being.....different.
eker1677 (4:13:20 PM): good point
KrisKris02 (4:13:23 PM): i'm blogging this.
eker1677 (4:13:28 PM): lol

happy love day!:)

2008-02-14T21:36:00.000-04:00

Hope u guys had a happy one:)
Those are the gorgeous roses my honey sent me.
I love!
loves!

you googled WHAT?

2008-02-13T14:21:00.002-04:00

I've wanted to blog about the search terms people use to find me but i never got around to it.
I found the ones people used in the past week and decided to blog these.
Here goes:

girls names ending in ity
do you really want to call your kid something-ity?
Seriously? Cuz i'd make fun of your kid if i was 5.

home pedicure pineapple
Um..there are many things one can do with a pineapple that doesn't involve sticking your feet in it.

fafi faves
Well, yea its all bout the fafi since it launches TODAY! Go to the mothership and enjoy for me because on buttkiss island we get all the collections months after it was cool.

dress wore by fafi
You're from ny person who googled this, so i'm guessing you should know that its dress WORN by fafi but yea it was such a cute dress. (check youtube for the fafi launch)

pommerac recipes
See my chow recipe. It works great with pommeracs

chickybabes
This ain't this kinda blog, sir.

shmirthday
Those dam hallmark holidays!

spell resnum
I think you just did, dear.

are

2008-02-08T21:31:00.001-04:00

men meant to be understood?

seriously?
seriously.

This is. me.

2008-02-07T16:55:00.001-04:00

I'm going to start sharing more about a part of my life that has expanded and come to the forefront in the past couple months.
I am VERY excited about this and for the first time in a long time feel like i have some direction:)
Makeup Artistry.
I have always loved it and understood it and been crazy about it.
I have been doing makeup on other people as far back as i can remember. My first memory of makeup is three year old me sitting on my godmother's lap as she taught me how to apply the reddest red lipstick without using a mirror.
I think i got it on the first try;)
I always volunteered to do makeup for all the school shows and i loved it!
I went to beauty school after highschool but the place was a smidge ghetto and i lasted all of a week getting pincurled and whatnot before i asked for my money back and became a beauty school dropout.
That didn't stop me from playing with my makeup and was always rushing to get my makeup done after getting all my friends makeup done first!
I remember the plum lips i used to rock in my teens..ugh! I prefer more muted tones on my lips now but back in the 90s the matte burgundy/plum lips were so hot!
I've worn so much glitter i could blind even a club kid, thankfully i've reigned it in tee hee:D
I will blog about makeup from time to time and share some looks here and there, not sure yet if i will devote an entire new blog to makeup alone, mostly to hold my column - oh yea, i'll be writing a makeup column for a soon to be launched new local magaine!
Woot!

exhausted.

2008-02-05T09:18:00.001-04:00

Bed at 12:30
Up at 2:30
Work at 3.
Fun work but way too early!

The TO DO list.

clean my apartment
cook lunch
clean and sanitize my makeup tools and makeup
clean out my traincase
burn backups
delete old files
defrag computer
Laundry
Nap.

Mmm hmm...nap.

its carnival here.

2008-02-04T21:21:00.001-04:00

i don't play carnival but i'm having fun making up some of the masqueraders!:)

Booyah!

2008-02-03T22:10:00.001-04:00

I am loving this little camera!
The pics aren't stellar but i love love love the relaxed quality of the pics. Not contrived and set up and perfectly edited.
This is another makeup trial run so its not finished or perfect. We're still debating the pink. I think the pink is outta there :)

Zoop!

2008-02-02T21:22:00.001-04:00

Yes, i'm posting twice in one day (i apologize for the coffee/red wine/soda/water you just spit on ur screen).
Lately i've been shooting with a random little point and shoot sony camera that i lurrrrve. Its old (hand me down) and it really takes the pressure off playing with fancy settings and getting that perfect shot. I've been getting really great shots with the lil thing. I heart it.
So. I was reading this girl's blog and she had a list of 36 things that happened to her in her 36th year of life and i thought it would be so great to make my random list since i'm only just one month into my 27th year.
So, sans further ado, 26 things that happened in my 26th year.

I got so sick i lost 6lbs in 1 night.
I found my girly side again.
I scrapped!
I had my first art show.
I lost 17lbs (the 6lb night gave me a really good headstart)
I found the 17lbs again (bummer)
I graduated.
I fell entirely too deeply in love and i never wanna be out.
I took a mini vacation in country with my highschool best friend.
I met and fell in love with sour apple martinis (which i dubbed sourtinis)
I broke up with my best friend
I knit a couple scarves (i taught myself 3 years ago)
I did my first bridal makeup (that wasn't a dry run on a friend)
I wore a sari.
I bought and wore gorgeous black suede pumps
I went blonde.
I broke up with my hairstylist
I found my mojo
I lost my mojo
I enjoyed a wonderfully creative year.
I took risks
I sorted and purged (in a good way!)
I wore a dress
I finally got flowers from a boy.
I found my passion again.
I started living again.

I am.

2008-02-02T14:45:00.001-04:00

Green
Blue
Pink
Parrot
Lime
Fuschia
Orange
Purple
Black
White
Grey.
A photographer
A makeup artist
A painter
A lover
A bitch
A girly girl
A serial spreadsheetist.
A sister
A daughter
A friend
A girlfriend
A fashionista (wannabe)
Me.

My faves

2008-01-31T15:00:00.001-04:00

FAFI FAFI everything FAFI!
I first found out about FAFI because mac is bringing out a fafi inspired collection and i CANNOT WAIT!
God, fafi AND heatherette within a few months...ooh!
I adore heatherette.
I'm loving Leona Lewis Bleeding Heart.
Her makeup is crazy hot in the videos and i intend to try all of the looks as our complexions are quite similar.
The song is so 80's sounding i LOVE it.
I'm alternating between listening to leona lewis, kate nash and ingrid michaelson and looking at fafi's art and the creative explosion 2008 is BEGINNING!
Can ya FEEEL ITTTTTTTTTTTT?

100 things about me

2008-01-28T15:00:00.001-04:00

I was going to break this into two bits but i don't want to post two links in my sidebar.
Lets see if this fits!

1. I love dessert.I think a meal should come at the end of dessert.
2. I think I was supposed to be a cooking show host.
3. I like doing menial tasks
4. I love organizing but I’m not organized
5. I love my long hair but I wish I had the face/balls to pull off a short flippy do.
6. I’ve adored photography since I was a child but only owned a camera at age 15
7. I secretly adore databases.
8. I think I liked math, I just emulated my cousins who ‘hated math’.
9. Sometimes I think I suck at art
10. Sometimes I think I’m a kickass artist
11. I love being in a relationship
12. I miss being single
13. I have a killer eye for color
14. I can speak like Kermit the frog
15. I own a fraggle
16. I was once the stripper at a bachelorette party (well…dancer since I didn’t take anything off)
17. I’m the party planner of our group. I adore it.
18. The first time I played hookie from school I was 17. I was nervous and paranoid all day even though class was in ft Lauderdale and we were hanging out on south beach.
19. I spent almost all of my senior year (of college) cutting school
20. I wish my parents never split up.
21. I wish I had all the traditional milestones girls have. First dates, formals, dads threatening said dates, girl talk with mom.
22. I wish I didn’t have to be my own parent.
23. If you say Qpon we can’t be friends.
24. Peecans too unless you’re paula deen then you’re excused.
25. Ditto for if you only started going gaga for Patrick Dempsey in his greys days.
26. I adore Duff Goldman. His passion for his art just comes leaping through the screen at me and I get excited about MY job as a result. Thanks man.
27. I love snowy tv screens as long as the tv is muted, I could watch forever. Totally dig a good pixel fight.
28. I think fruit flavored ice creams are just wrong. Sorbet is ur man if u want fruit.
29. I can’t wait to show my art
30. I’m a bit chicken shit and I’ll be quite naked and nervous, but I know I can’t please everyone.
31. I find my zen at the end of a paintbrush, stirring spoon or bubble wand.
32. I can’t resist stuffed animals and I have to pat / talk to /hug the majority of them at stores and I mass apologise for the rest for not being able to hug them (shut up)
33. I attribute the above to too many Enid Blyton books when growing up.
34. I shrieked like an idiot while preparing to watch the Nancy Drew movie.
35. I look amazing in blue eyeshadow.
36. I love doing make up. (I prefer doing someone else’s makeup)
37. I have a love hate relationship with exercise
38. I have a [paint] brush fetish.
39. I never thought I wouldn’t have time to change my nailpolish daily
40. I want 2 babies. Boys, girls are trouble.
41. I love the feeling I get after a stomach flu.( this makes me LOVE the line in the devil wears prada where Emily says ‘I’m one stomach flu away from my goal weight)
42. I’ve been writing this list for weeks. I’d be done already if I actually remembered some of the things that randomly pop into my head.
43. Office supplies make me weak
44. I love calvin klein scents (save for the ones advertised by hungry models in grainy black and white photos)
45. I use expensive face cream
46. I wear cheap nailpolish
47. I refuse to pay $80 for a salad so I make bad choices when I eat out.
48. I’ll pay $50 for strawberries anytime.
49. Sometimes I think of how thin the line is. Any line.
50. I love listening to lesbians with guitars
51. I love listening to songs about finding yourself.
52. My favourite color is pink but I crave the rainbow.
53. I am now 27. I started writing this list when I just turned 26. oops.
54. I lust after expensive purses, but a good fake will do.
55. If 54 makes me a bad person, buy me the dam Gucci purse.
56. I want to be a famous – scrapbooker, makeup artist, photographer.
57. I want a puppy but I’m afraid of it dying.
58. I want babies but my vagina can’t wrap its mind around that yet.
59. I want to finish this list today.
60. I plan to live out loud in 08.
61. There’s something about 2008.
62. The 80s are popular. I’m vintage cool.
63. I wonder if anyone is still reading.
64. I hope my relationship continues to be THIS GREAT and more when we live together.
65. I KNOW it will be. I FEEL IT.
66. I want to be ok with leaving the house au natural. Right.
67. I want to dress up silly like and take pictures this weekend.
68. I have a huge list of things I can finally do when I move. The list grows by the minute.
69. Do you have to let it linger?
70. You know I’m such a fool for you.
71. You got me wrapped around your finger.
72. Do you have to let it linger?
73. How did u like me using song lyrics to fill four lines. I’m listening to a mix and the cranberries linger just came on.
74. Nothing I ever thought about being in love and being in a relationship was right.
75. Its SO MUCH better.
76. I secretly love the look of chipped black nailpolish.
77. I think its edgy and sexy.
78. I wouldn’t date a boy who wore eyeliner, but I think it looks nice.
79. I wish my eyes were a different color or the same color but more interesting.
80. The last time I wore a bikini I was 11 months old.
81. I love rocking out to Melissa etheridge.
82. I wish I had accomplished more by now.
83. I’ve accomplished a lot already
84. I want to travel but I hate flying
85. I get jealous over facebook status updates.
86. I believe in jesus, chocolate and teddy bears.
87. I am going to read this list in ten years and wonder if I was high when I was writing that last sentence.
88. I think the most valued thing I own is my creativity.
89. I want a macbook air. But only if they incorporate a camera.
90. I love using scissors
91. Paint splotches make me melt like diamonds might for some girls.
92. I want my boyfriend to give me jewelry for milestones, but his homemade cards are so cute.
93. Sometimes I just want to feel girly.
94. I believe that if you’re in a bad relationship and are holding on because you don’t know anything else, you are missing out on SO MUCH.
95. Let go.
96. When I see the word breathe written somewhere I actually do take a deep breath.
97. I will never be friends with the elliptical machine. I am okay with that.
98. I think life is better with a little lipgloss.
99. I know my prayers get answered.
100. I finally love myself and I am really growing into who i am

eta: i was just rereading the list (didn't before posting) and i wrote about being apprehensive about having an art show. This was back when i was thinking of doing one. I bit the bullet and I DID IT. I didn't think about the fear while i prepared though i started wigging out a bit on the day of the show it was such a minor meltdown the local seismic center didn't bother to record it :P

Bloggiversary etc

2008-01-26T16:32:00.001-04:00

Happy Bloggiversary to me. Casting-On is two!
Bleh.
I don't feel the blogging thing right now.
I wish i could say i was too busy to blog but i'm not. My blog anniversary was actually 4 days ago oopth.
Might i totally add that i'm over conceited blogs?
If you have to keep reminding me how fabulous you are? You're forgettable.

Right.

I'm ready for some gettup and GO. This year is D R A G G I N G!

Who's with me?

going nowhere

2008-01-14T15:04:00.001-04:00

This year is ticking me off.
Its making things move sloooooowlyyyyyy
Most people i know have ceased blogging. And my non resolution resolutions are not being very resolute.
Last night i began writing a goodbye post to close my blog.
At the same time, the turtle called and when i told him what i was doing he got pouty and begged me not to close it.
'Take a break, don't close it, if u must' he said.
I don't know if i'm taking a break.
I just feel like life is on a go slow.
And as much as i love smelling the roses, i don't like it to be THIS slow. I guess its a bit of a letdown after a hectic december.
Oye.

ms grumpypants

2008-01-11T16:15:00.001-04:00

i'm sick.
Phlegmy coughy sick.
I lay in bed all night counting ceiling tiles and watching that glowing red number go from 1 right through to 6:30 when my alarm went off.
I had to wake up early to tutor someone.
I laid in bed for another hour after the alarm and listened to every annoying sqwak, peep and wind swish that just further served to agitate me.
Even if i wanted to stay in bed i couldn't.
I think i can handle everything but the irritability caused by sleeplessness.
I tutored from 8 till 1pm then had a godawful lunch.
I pulled out the box of cake mix thats been staring at me for weeks. (why the hell did my mom have to buy that?!) I don't like letting her go to the store because she doesn't understand the concept of watching what you eat.
If its there i'll eat it.
When it comes to food i don't have much control. So i just don't buy certain things so i wont tempt myself.
Things taste so much better when you deny yourself.
I baked the stupid cake.
I have no idea how i screwed up a BOX cake so bad, but i did.
Awful
i want to throw it away but i hate the idea of tossing food.
My photo mojo is on vacation
My baking ability has tanked since the amazing christmas cookies.
My art attempts look like a four year old hopped up on juice boxes and snack cakes attacked a canvas
eeeuuughhhgads!
I am in SUCH an annoyed mood.
I also spent several months working on a fluffy pink scarf and it its quite crappy.
I started a new one last night and can i really start a project without frogging it? Nope.
I'm working on row number two.
Auugh. Knitting is not something you want to do when irritable. Stitches will be tight.
I listened to some ghettoey sounding people talking loudly outside today and i just KNOW my face was contorted into an 'ugh' shape. I am getting so sick of this place.
I'm not unhappy. Just fed up of a lot of things and wondering where the hell my creativity went.
Jan 08 you suck so far.
You took my friend's dad away and you stole my mojo.
I'd really like you to be over with so i can get on to feb.

2007 wrapup - quickie.

2007-12-30T23:36:00.001-04:00

I'm not feeling like going back and pouring over what was.
It was just that - it was.
It was a fantastic year with many firsts.
I expect that 2008 will be more of the same.
No, screw that, i don't EXPECT it.
I am going to CREATE it.
Rock on 2008
Lets GO!

How i got the name 'cookie killer' and other stories.

2007-12-27T15:48:00.001-04:00

These gorgeous cookies up top were my two day birthday/christmas project.
I had fun making them and it was a bit stressful as i had no idea what the hell i was doing and little help doing them (my friend who helped had to leave early) It was fine once i got the hang of it and they were yummalicious!
However, the remaining 2 dozen (out of ten) were neatly placed on a tray and wrapped up on christmas morning.
I placed them on top of the car while i packed everything else in en route to a family get together.
Guess who got in and drove off with the cookies still atop the car?
Yep.
Didn't remember till someone asked me later where they were.
A bit of a hissy fit ensued and then i resigned myself to the title of supreme idiot and moved on.
I'm baking 15 dozen on sunday, this time i'll be making them with two other friends so it should go fairly fast.
Geez!

How was your christmas? What did you do?
My christmas was wonderful even with the cookie incident.
Breakfast and several games of zingo at a neighbor's house.
Zingo is the kid version of bingo that i bought for the neighbor's kid. Its quite hilarious.
Lunch at my cousin's and we just spent the rest of the day vegging there.

I've made the decision to go full speed ahead into makeup and photography - thats a post in itself but i'm off to do my first (real) bride tomorrow evening!

As for right now, i feel like a huge weight has been lifted. A guy asked me to draw a logo /mascot for his band some time ago and i alternated between drawing several unsuccessful versions and freaking out over not having it done and feeling guilty about it and just knowing that i couldn't do it. (this is one of the things that pushed me to quit design). I'm not a one stop shop i don't do animation i don't make characters. People think that if you can draw/do art you can do anything that falls within that realm - not so.
So anyways i just emailed this guy and told him that i'm setting myself free, apologised for not delivering and telling him that even though i've gently suggested he find someone else before (he kept saying no that i was it) i am definitely cutting myself off of this project and good luck yada yada.
Phew. Feels good.
More of letting go of the old and i am LOVING IT.
yay.

Merry Jingle Bells!

2007-12-23T22:51:00.001-04:00

As i sit here typing i am slowwwwwwwly turning 27
Gah! lol
I'm sooooo on the other side of 25 but i'm okay with it (gasp wheeze )
Tee hee
So as i enjoy my birthday tomorrow, I hope u guys enjoy your celebrations on tuesday and remember that its not about the presents, its about love love love and family.
Soon the shopping and craziness will be behind us.
But i will never forget the 10 dozen sugar cookies that i baked (am baking) and decorated (am decorating) Between today and tomorrow!! Egads! But they're gawgus i'll show piccies soon!
These snowmen ornaments up top i sculpted out of polymer clay last week wednesday.
Cute fun.
Thank you all for reading and being supportive and sweet this year!
Hugs and love!

Bad blogger.

2007-12-11T19:32:00.001-04:00

(no this is not my wedding pic, i'm not married yet )
I haven't blogged in a bit. And i haven't been any kind of semi regular with the blogging, i apologise.
I did blog explaining my disappearance, but it was such an angry post i deleted it.
I looked back in my blog to see what i posted at this time last year. Yesterday was my one year anniversary of finishing school.
I was clueless, with no direction, but i was FREE!
Anyways this year was fantastic.
I crossed a lot of my 'to do before i die' list and also learned a lot.
I was so uncomfortable with things that weren't right that i put a stop to most of them.
First off, i'm done with the design stuff unless its for me or a fun project where i have total creative freedom.
I'm TOTALLY done with web design though, save for my site.
It just made me miserable. My excuse was always that 'thats where the money is or it pays the bills'.
I stopped and found something else that makes me happier and pays the bills (better than the web stuff!)
See up there?
Doing makeup and taking pictures.
I have always loved makeup an i've always adored photography.
I started doing more and more makeup for friends and some of them suggested i do it full time. I was shy about charging for my services and thought fuckit, i can DO THIS.
So i am.
I'm having a lot of fun and things are grrrrrreat!
Lotsa changes, and lots more in store.
Bring it on 2008
Bring
It
On.

Holiday tiiiiimmmmeeeeee!

2007-11-19T16:09:00.001-04:00

Last thursday, my best friend slept over after graduation.
We are OLD.
Gone are the days of chatting all night, we kept falling asleep mid conversation like two grannies and its funny because she would jolt awake and say WHAT?!! loudly which would wake me up and i'd say huh what? then we'd chat then fall asleep again till eventually we fell off completely.
The next morning i felt like getting the christmas thing started and it was tree time!
We dove into those boxes and she helped me put up the tree and organize the ornaments and lights.
She even set up a cute little vignette with mini trees and a mini sleigh. Very cute.
I got instahappy seeing the tree and of course spending a whole day with her. We don't get to hang out enough!
Another of our friends came by later in the evening and we chatted for a couple hours. Really good times. I love hanging out with those girls and WE DONT DO IT ENOUGH!
I was soooo crazy into christmas last year. I started listening to christmas music while writing my thesis from august right through till january!
I went nuts decorating (when i shouldda been studying) and just generally had this huge fun christmas spirit.
This year i'm happy about christmas but i dont feel that huge christmas spirit!
That's bugging me!
I planned a cookie exchange party so we could get more into the spirit of things and be able to hang out and also make something we can give as presents.
I grabbed a martha stewart sugar cookie and icing recipe from her baking handbook. I can't wait to get going and make some sugar cookies! We might make some other types too.
Wheeee!!!
How are your holidays shaping up?

hullo beautiful people!

2007-11-11T18:40:00.001-04:00

There was a major shift in my life this week.
Sometimes it takes a major wave to knock you over, flip you upside down and make you stop standing on the shore with your mouth agape and your brain wandering.
I spent approximately 26 hours in total limbo over that stupid potential web job, and it made me FINALLY realise AND take steps toward NO MORE WEB JOBS (this doesn't apply to work i've already agreed to take, if the clients won't let me pawn it off on my friend nick)
Just thinking about the stupid job made me feel really bad about myself and really insecure and generally queasy.
It feels GOOD to KNOW, that i am definitely quitting. Maybe not qutting, but 'ending that phase of my life'. I have no clue what is in store for me next year with changing countries,homes, work and school environments and i am not nervous about it. I AM EXCITED and welcoming the change.
I graduate on Wednesday.
Finally.
I will cross that stage (in 4 inch pumps) with a grin on my face and move that tassel from left to right.
I will resist the urge to make the fist of rock and stick out my tongue.......or maybe i won't ;)
All i know is, that when i pull that cap off my head and toss it to the heavens, i toss up with it prayers of thankfulness, forgiveness, hope, want, need and so so much love.
I worked hard for this.
I wanted to quit on my first day, my second day, first week, first semester all the way up to the last semester. I fought screamed kicked bitched moaned, lost sleep, lost my place in heaven with all the swearing but I HAVE DONE IT.
I am at the finish line.
I step over on wednesday evening.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Who's yo dadddaaaay?!

2007-11-10T22:58:00.001-04:00

Cuz i haven't done this in sooooooooo long........how about a meme.
Mostly cuz i'm in SUCH a good mood today, and i love yas so much - u get to read my insane ramblings.
And also? I'm hopped up on m&ms which i like to call 'm nems'
Can i just add, the photo mojo was SO happening today (no thats not one of the photos i took today, i took this last month when the turtle was here.)

8 Things I’m Passionate About

1. My art
2. Brushes of any kind!! holding a paintbrush/makeup brush literally makes my heart flutter n whoop!
3. Photography.
4. Make up! doing makeup for people has always been 'my thing'. Right now its seeming like a damned good career option because it doesn't feel like 'work'
5. my turtle!
6. m nems. nuff said.
7. cooking! sooooo zen.
8. people and puppies. I love hugging the cuddly ones . heh.

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die

1. Buy an SLR
2. Go to Italy
3. Get married
4. Have babies
5. Get healthy / make peace with the elliptical..i'm not even TRYING with the stair climber. sheezus.
6.Own a creative business
7. Sport a posh like bob
8. Own a puppy.

8 Things I Say Often

1. fuck!
2. asshole (pronounced 'airss hohle')
3. I love you!
4. Biiiiiiiiiiiinggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!
5. fuckaduck!
6. Pumpkin? (pronounced pohmpkinn)
7. i want an slrrrrrrrrrrr
8. Are you on crack?!?!

8 Books or Magazines I’ve Read Recently

1. Scrapbooks Etc
2. Fitness Mag
3.Redbook
4. Elle
5. Cosmo
6. Allure
7. Simple Scrapbooks
8. Body and soul..............hm so many mags, no books. i developed severe allergies to books. Magazines are so non-committal i can totally handle that

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over & Over

1. Tambourine - Eve
2.Mother Mother - Tracy Bonham
3.Right through you- Alanis
4. Me Love - Sean Kingston
5. Apologize - One republic featuring timbaland
6. Big girls don't cry - Fergie
7. La Bomba - Ricky Martin
8.Girl who has everything - Ariel the mermaid

8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends

1. Humor
2. Not being ashamed to say the word penis out loud.....in public.
3. Thinks i'm the shit! cuz i am. duh.
4. Let me vent and use the word fuck every other word because its just how i roll.
5. Tell me i'm being stupid/dramatic/ridiculous when i am.
6. Have fucking amazing fashion sense. (i might be an artist but i suck so bad at fashion I AM THE WORST DRESSED LIST
7. Make me bust a gut laughing.
8. Dessert splitters. Cuz real friends share calories. I love your guts man!!

8 People I Think Should Do Crazy 8s

1. Pixie PLEASSSSEe
2. Alynda cuz with 6.5 weeks to UK living she doesn't already have enough to do. Plus she needs shit for nablopomo or blow napoleon whatever it is where u post everyday.
3. Kelly dude u need blog fodder!
4. Steve, cuz amidst all that drawing homie? You need you some words. word.
5. Anybody else because i ran outta blog buddies. Hit me up if u do it i wanna read, yo.

Can i just say

2007-11-09T16:36:00.001-04:00

that i have this gorgeous turquoise cereal bowl and its sitting in my fridge with yellow and green limes inside of it.
Everytime i open the fridge i get so happy seeing it.

that i've used entirely too many napkins since i got a napkin holder thingie so its sitting on my counter in my eyesight and i feel a bit environmentally irresponsible for using that many.

That i have two gets each of four cereal bowls. 4 turquoise and 4 green. I bought the green ones to satisfy my mother but they dont make me in the least bit happy. I think i die a little bit inside when i have to use a green one.

that i'm having such a quiet laid back day (public holiday here). I feel such pressure on weekdays to 'work' and when i have no work i freak out and feel incompetent, inept, worthless bla bla. But on weekends i feel relieved that its OKAY for someone to hear my tv in the background when i pick up the phone. I still mute it anyways out of habit.

That i'm loving the combo of fruit loops and honey nut cheerios. And i love that my baby is a cereal mixer too. I love combining flavors and textures.

that i got such a high off of doing my friend's make up today.
I've been getting an insane high off make up lately. More so than anything else i've ever done really except maybe photography. (which i am SUPER sucking at lately...ugh)

so wanting to entitle this post 'bleh'

2007-11-06T20:48:00.001-04:00

Ok so, nobody is going to hand me the perfect creative life on a platter.
So i gotta get up n make it myself.
I've been whining about no work for the past week, i finally got a call today.
A friend started a new job and her boss needs a website for their company.
She told me he was picky and meticulous, and his voice on the phone annoyed me.
I'm going to their office tomorrow for a meeting.
I almost never go to a client's place, i'm spoiled in that they come to me.
This guy, however, wants to meet with me at his office, so i'm going.
This project is for web work.
Increasingly, every time i get an offer for web or graphic work, i feel tense and totally strung out.
Don't get me wrongo i'm totally grateful for WORK.
But ever since i was younger, i knew there was more to this 'work' thing. It wasn't about being chained to a desk and doing what you have to do, i always felt like it was more about creating a career/ making a living by doing what you WANT to do.
This feeling that is attached to the graphic/web work really is gross.
Its a sinking feeling that makes me feel detached and unable to focus.
Every single project i've undertaken in the past 3 years or so, i've come in juuuuuuuuuust under the deadline and a couple times over. Simply because i can't seem to make myself get to it.
I used to be excited by this stuff, perhaps it was in the early early days when there were fewer clients.
I loved it while i was at school, because i was my own client. My creative freedom was limitless.
Yes, working around a client's demands is challenging and you have to creatively build that puzzle, but i guess working with local clients who want the 'new dynamic fabulousness' and when they get it, want to revert to the 'traditional, tired, old' has worn me out.
Ugh! I so never fit in here so never did so never will and that makes me angry,frustrated, hurt and yet - i am okay with that. I know, i'm a walking contradiction.
Anyhoos, i'm not in the least bit excited by /looking forward to tomorrow's meeting but i better start changing the energy i'm putting out.
I WANT A CREATIVE CAREER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(not one chained behind a computer such as graphics, web i am SO over that)

iiiiiiiii seeeeeeeee youuuuuu!

2007-11-02T15:41:00.001-04:00

Not.
I just like playing with makeup sometimes. That's my eye earlier this week.
The gold on the lower lid closest to the lashline was my holy grail gold pigment and i don't even know if the company still exists or if the color does.
I am now on the hunt for the perfect gold pigment.
Anyhoos moving along, i'm tired of knitting my pink scarf! Its cute but i think i would have preferred a ribbing instead of doing the whole thing in garter stitch. I've frogged ONE ROW of this yarn some months ago and that was so traumatic i left the yarn alone for about 7 months.
I say i'm tired of knitting it because i'm using size 15 (mammoth) needles and the weight makes it difficult to knit more than 2 or 3 rows without my hands cramping up. bleh. I will soldier on and wear my scarf proudly.
I'm trying to keep busy, knitting and what have you. But really, knowing that i'm not being paid for doing ANYTHING at the moment is really killing me.
I'm trying to pacify myself with the knowledge that the money i made from the art show can count as money earned in lieu of graphic or web work at the moment but geeeez homie! I need to be occupied with work. Wait.
Did i not say yesterday that i was letting go?
Ok.
Stop.
Breathe.
Move on.
Knit. Knit. Knit.

A rose is a rose is a rose....

2007-11-01T22:13:00.001-04:00

This is turning into such a dear diary blog.
I've decided that i should stop moping about the slow workflow right now.
Instead of imagining gloom and doom and empty bank accounts and no hope of a future, i'm going to enjoy my free time. I'm gonna quit fighting the tide for a bit here.
Today i painted in my new moleskine (thanks turtleboy:)
I painted a rose that he gave to me thats now dried up. I worked out again, my legs are killing me and so is my ass. ouch!
I cleaned and did some laundry and my day pretty much disappeared doing all that.
Tomorrow there will be more of the same. Ooh! and i've begun knitting again!
I'm knitting a pink fuzzy scarf for my trip in 2008.
Yay!

Shake ya tambourine!

2007-10-31T18:29:00.001-04:00

Shake your tambourine go an get chaself a whistle and
Shake your tambourine go an get chaself a whistle and!
Boy was that some walk/jog!
I was starting to feel a funk coming on this evening and absolutely could not face leslie sansone's perkiness or the turtle asking me (hope against hope) If i'd done watp.
I was doing dishes (my kitchen overlooks a savannah with a walking/jogging path around).
There were tons of mud puddles but i suddenly got the idea to lace up the sneakers and plug in my ipod.
So i did.
I took a deep breath as i stepped out onto the path and i have no idea how many rain bugs i swallowed.
I shook my head like a crazy person and soldiered on.
I hit play on the ol pod and eve's tambourine came on.
Man i wanted to stop right there in the middle of the path and shake my tambourine right down to the ground, but something tells me that might not have been the best thing with the construction dudes around.
I walked a couple laps briskly and sometimes singingly.
The mood is better.
I feel like a bad ass really.
Now to finish cleaning the apartment and cook me some dinner.
Who's coming over?

Musing and quicky pedi.

2007-10-30T16:12:00.001-04:00

Quicky quicky my feet need some luuurrve!
Tee hee.
If your feet start looking a lil icky split between pedis you can try the mini pedi (sometimes i'm so lazy i do a string of minis for months till i get round to doing a full one!)

You will need:
Foot scrub or some sorta scrub (btw - sugar and olive oil or coarse salt and olive oil makes a great scrub. As does the sand at the beach when you're sitting in the surf)
Nail polish (and your topcoat/basecoat)
Moisturiser and oil.
Nail file / buffer.
Nail brush

Do this immediately after showering to skip the soak.
Remove your nailpolish and file/buff nails before showering.
Use the scrub or a pumice stone in the shower along with scrubbing your nails with the nail brush.
After showering, apply moisturizer liberally.
Apply a tiny bit of oil to nails and surrounding areas and massage in well.
Tissue off or swipe nails with a cotton ball moistened with polish remover to get rid of excess grease
Paint nails and voila, instant fab feet!
Feel free to skip any steps you don't have time for EXCEPT for moisturizing and some sorta scrubbing!
Few things in this world are more awful than crusty feet in gorgeous sandals.

Anyhoos. Today is one of those days where i feel like busting out the mondo beyondo vibes and just working on a whole new career or whole new aspect of a design career.
Bleh.
I hate it when i have a lull in work. It makes me think of things like life without clients climbing up my ass 24/7.......